Why You Shouldn't Wait...NOW Is Your Time! Part 2

"Behold, now is the acceptable time, behold, now is the day of salvation..." - 2 Corinthians 6:2 AMP

URGENT: very important and needing immediate attention; calling for immediate attention; showing that something is very important and needs immediate attention

Hi again!

Last time I dropped a hint that there was something Dr. King knew that Goldilocks didn't.

If you recall I mentioned the story of Goldilocks and The Three Bears and compared it to Dr. King's Letter From a Birmingham Jail.


You may think this story has nothing at all to do with Dr. King, but I can assure you it does. Let me explain.

In the fairy tale, Goldilocks looked around for things that were "just right": the porridge, the chairs, and eventually the bed where she was found sleeping.

Many people today live with a Goldilocks mentality. They believe everything in life has to be "just right." Someone else has to make things "just right" for them or they can't enjoy life. They can't be happy. 

George Bernard Shaw referred to them as "...a selfish, feverish little clod of ailments and grievances believing the world should devote itself to making [them] happy..."

But guess what people..?  

Life ain't a fairy tale. There's no such thing as "just right," at least not the kind that shows up on its own. And certainly not the kind that you sit around waiting for someone else to hand over to you.

Rev. King knew back in his day, just as in today's world, that what you want from life doesn't become reality until you place a demand on it. 

"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor. It must be demanded by the oppressed." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is not a game of chance, there is no "better break," unless you make it so. (with apologies to Captain Jean-Luc Picard of Star Trek: The Next Generation )

Just as it was in Rev. King's day, so it is in ours. Waiting for others to make everything good happen in your life is a losing proposition. Whatever changes you want to make in your life start with you. Yes...YOU.

But not so fast. You need to know some things... 

Know that as you take action to change your life, people you are close to may be disappointed in you. They won't be shy to express their disappointment because you didn't live according to their expectations. They'll criticize you, second guess your decisions. 

Since they don't want you to change, they'll pressure you to surrender, give up on your dreams, just take life as it comes. Because they don't understand what you do or why you do it, they may they may turn their backs on you, maybe even abandon you when they realize they can't "talk some sense" into you.

If they can't do that, they'll try to make you wait for a more convenient time to seek your dreams. "If what you want is meant to be you won't have to work for it. It'll just happen," they say. Their motto is the old Doris Day tune:

Que sera, sera...whatever will be, will be...
The future's not ours to see...
Que sera, sera...

Reality check people: If you take their advice you'll wind up like these folks:

Yeah...stranded in the middle of nowhere with Gilligan, waiting for somebody to rescue you, sailing a vessel that may never come.

But here's something else you should know...

Despite their beliefs to the contrary, your dreams are not a waste of time. They're an indication that you're here to serve a purpose. 

You were not placed on this earth to please the do-nothings in life. It's their job to make themselves happy, not yours. If they don't change their lives and they're miserable it's not your fault. It's their own.

Yes, they may be disappointed but there are many more people in this world who will be let down even more if you don't follow the dream in your heart. They need you to do so because you can make a positive difference in their lives.

Your purpose in life is to serve others from a free and willing heart. Your gifts and talents are for their benefit. Maybe you haven't met them yet. That's okay. As you fully express your uniqueness, you will cross their paths, and they will cross yours:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us...Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine...It's not just in some of us; It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, We...give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

So stop waiting for things to be "just right." There's only one Goldilocks, and it ain't YOU. 

Your name isn't Cinderella or Snow White. Stop waiting for some "happily ever after" fantasy. There's no Prince Charming. There's no steamship sailing, no plane flying overhead to rescue you from your Gilligan's Island existence.

Take a tip from Dr. King. Stop waiting for life to voluntarily give you what you want. Your time is NOW. Demand what you want from life, then...GO AFTER IT! Face it folks, you either decide what you want, or settle for what you get. There is no middle ground.

You may lose friends, you may lose face (in the short term anyway), you may even lose the approval of loved ones. But in their place you'll meet new friends and acquaintances who will respect and admire your courageous stand. 

You can inspire them and encourage them through your example. You can help them to stand on their own two feet. And in the end when you've won your own personal battle for freedom, you can look down from your mountaintop like Dr. King and say...

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...  See ya!

Why You Shouldn't Wait...NOW Is Your Time!

"He who watches the wind [waiting for all conditions to be perfect] will not sow [seed], and he who looks at the clouds will not reap [a harvest]." - Ecclesiastes 11:4 AMP

"Behold, now is the acceptable time, behold, now is the day of salvation..." - 2 Corinthians 6:2 AMP

WAIT: to pause for another to catch up; to remain stationery in readiness or expectation; to remain temporarily neglected or unrealized

PROCRASTINATION: the habit of being slow or late about doing something that should be done: the delay in doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, you are lazy, etc.

Do you remember Goldilocks and the Three Bears? I heard the story in my childhood, and chances are you did, too.

A little girl, Goldilocks, wanders through the woods, stumbles upon the bears' cottage. She eats their porridge, sits in their chairs, sleeps in their beds. She chooses the ones that she likes best, and is found by the bears in the baby's bed sound asleep, because to her it feels "just right."

It's an entertaining tale that delights the young and the young at heart.  But it's just a fairy tale. Nothing more.  You'll see why I mention this is a moment...

Have you ever read "Letter From Birmingham Jail"..? Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote it in 1963 as he sat in a jail cell after being arrested for demonstrating against segregation in that southern city. Birmingham's clergy questioned his motives for visiting their area. They feared King's efforts would backfire, and his presence would tear apart their community. 

They argued that the time for such change in Birmingham wasn't right yet, and while they agreed with King that segregation was wrong, they believed the battle to end it should take place in the courts, not the streets. Rev. King's letter directly addressed their concerns.

His letter explained why he knew the time for waiting had long passed. He wrote about the sting of discouragement felt by people told to "wait," over and over again. He knew what "wait" really meant: we don't want it to happen, and we hope you'll wait long enough to give up. 

After 100 years of waiting to experience rights promised in the Emancipation Proclamation many people had yet to enjoy, Rev. King quoted Justice Earl Warren to voice his position: 

"Justice too long delayed is justice denied...We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed." - Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you ever get a chance, go online to read the full letter. You'll be glad you did.  I found this link very helpful:

http://www.uscrossier.org/pullias/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/king.pdf

Now you may be wondering at this point...

Goldilocks and the Three Bears has absolutely nothing to do with Letter From a Birmingham Jail! One is a child's story, the other represents a turning point in American history. Surely they don't have a single thing in common...

RIGHT..???

Well, at first glance you might be correct, but if you look a bit closer you'll see an important lesson, a common thread that winds the two together. You can use this common thread to find success in 2016.

And I'll reveal that thread to you...

Next time... 

Here's a hint to get your wheels turning...

That's all for now, gotta run.  

Until next time, remember...

Keep it siimple...  See ya!

The Sweetest Revenge, Part 2

"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty give him water to drink; For in doing so you will heap coals of fire upon his head. And the Lord will reward you." - Proverbs 25:21,22 AMP

An often overlooked definition of revenge is: "an opportunity for getting satisfaction..."

Now you may think the only way to get satisfaction is to give them a taste of their own medicine, to make them suffer just like you did.

But there is a better way to get revenge, one that doesn't cause any hurt, pain, or intentionally emotional distress.

The best way to explain this is to recall those times as kids when we injured ourselves. We got hurt. Fell down, skinned our knees. We felt burning, stinging pain...and wanted to get rid of it like yesterday.  

But as much as we wanted to, we couldn't speed things up. We had to let the healing process run its course, no matter how long it took.

Over time a scab developed while the skin underneath healed and grew stronger. When the scab fell off there may have been a scar left over where the wound once was, but there was no more pain, and our knee felt good as new.

Just as our bodies get hurt, our hearts and minds do, too. But there is a difference.

When our bodies are injured, healing automatically begins without our input. But when we are wounded inwardly we have a choice as to how the healing takes place...or if it takes place at all.

We can decide to get bitter...or better.  What's the difference, you ask? It all depends on where we place our focus.

When we get bitter all we think about is how the other person did us wrong. We willingly play the part of the victim who was hurt unfairly, whether or not it is justified.  

It's true that life isn't always fair, no doubt. But it's also true that we get to choose how we respond to what happens to us, for better or for worse.

By choosing to get better we don't look outwardly, but inwardly. We focus on ourselves. Even when things happen to us that are as unexpected as they are unfair, we look at ourselves and decide how we'll respond in the midst of a tough situation.

When we're bitter, we base our happiness on what others do for us, or to us. Our sense of well being is tied directly to what others do. We believe that nothing we do makes any difference.

But by getting better we become responsible for our happiness. We get involved in the process of creating our value. We aren't quick to blame others for our misery. For life to be worth living, we must do something to make it happen, not rely on someone else to do it for us.

We realize we have no time to carry grudges. Bitterness is a luxury we can't afford. We don't play victim, we don't say woe is me, and we don't sing, "...nobody knows the trouble I seen," because we understand that everyone faces hard times and challenges. Life isn't all about us, it's about all of us.

Taking an active role in getting better helps us let go of the idea that others exist to make us happy. We don't talk about what others "made" us do. We talk instead about what we choose to do. 

Best of all, we know we have the power to make whatever changes are necessary. We literally take back the power over our lives that we used to give away to others without knowing it.

As we take time to grow beyond the hurt and the pain, we become better. The process might take a minute, but we get to discover a level of maturity we never would have reached if we let hurt and anger get the best of us. 

We can reach levels of satisfaction in life that do not require us to sacrifice our honesty, integrity, or self respect. We can look in the mirror and like what we see because we didn't make someone else suffer pain or distress...and we'll sleep better at night with a clear conscience, the softest of all pillows.  

Just imagine what could happen if we all did this. We would learn once and for all that not only is this is possible, but we would also find out that Old Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra himself was right when he said:

"The best revenge is massive success..."

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...  See ya!

The Sweetest Revenge

REVENGE:  the act of doing something to hurt someone because that person did something to hurt you; the act of defeating an opponent who has defeated you in the past; an act or instance of retaliating in order to get even; an opportunity for getting satisfaction

When most people hear the word "revenge," the first thought that comes to mind is getting payback. Getting even. You feel that if someone hurt you, you should hurt them back. 

As a child I was told when I went to school, "If someone hits you, then you should hit them back," so the idea of making someone suffer who made you suffer seems pretty natural.

After all, didn't we all grow up with the idea that if somebody did wrong, at the end of the day they should get a "taste of their own medicine"..? That's what I heard, and I bet some of you heard it, too.

Having said all this, you probably also heard that seeking revenge is wrong because it does no good to hurt someone who hurt you first. "Two wrongs don't make a right," is what we were told to justify not seeking to make someone else suffer our pain.

We also heard, "forgive and forget," just let it go as if it was all right that it happened. You know as well as I do that the kind of forgiveness that pretends nothing went wrong doesn't help anyone. 

But you also know that getting back at the person who did you wrong isn't the best strategy either.  So what do you do?

You get revenge! Yes, that's right, you get revenge! 

Now you may be thinking, didn't you just say we shouldn't seek revenge because hurting the other person doesn't help us or them?
Yes I did, but that's not the kind of revenge I'm talking about.

There's a kind of revenge that tastes sweeter than honey in the honeycomb. And it doesn't do anybody any harm, not you, not them, nobody.

I realize this seems like a contradiction, but I assure you it's not.

If you're willing to stick with me I can tell you all about it...

Next time.

But before I go I'll give you this hint: it has a lot to do with what happens when you skin your knee.  Confused? Don't worry, I'll have it all cleared up in Part 2...next time.

So until we meet again take care and remember...

Keep it simple...   See ya!

What Umpires Taught Me About Handling Criticism

"And let the peace (soul harmony which comes from Christ) rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving thanks to God always]." - Colossians 3:15 AMPC

CRITICISM: the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing: the act of criticizing someone or something; a remark or comment that expresses disapproval of someone or something; the act of criticizing usually unfavorably

They don't play for any team. They don't take sides (at least I don't think so). Baseball fans want them to be like children, seen but not heard. Some say when they're not noticed they're doing a great job.

Who are they? The umpires, the "men in blue." Their calls affect a game's outcome. Fair or foul. Ball or strike. Safe or out. And in the end, victory or defeat.

They're the least popular guys on the field because their call can make your team win or lose. Or so it seems. They "call it as they see it." They realize you may not agree with their decision. That's okay, it goes with the territory. Good call or bad, it stands.

As one umpire said during my dad's playing days: "It ain't nothin' 'til I call it..!!" Umps make their decision and stick by it. Period.

Baseball broadcaster and long-time catcher Tim McCarver said it best whenever players and managers disagreed with umpires calls:

"Agreement is not necessary.."

Like any other fan, I don't care for the umps very much when my favorite team plays. But I respect their ability to keep order during the game from first pitch to last. I also respect them because they taught me a valuable lesson from their example: 

They taught me how to make a call and stick with it, even when people disagree with you and wish you'd change your mind. I learned from them that you have to stick with your convictions, no matter how unpopular they may be in the minds of others.

In life, as in baseball, you'll make decisions that people won't like. They won't agree with you, and they won't be shy about letting you know how they feel. They'll second guess you and question your judgment. Mock you, ridicule you, make fun of you. Call you every name under the sun because they think you're out of your mind. 

They may try to humiliate you, embarrass you, intimidate or even shame you for your views because they think you're wrong. 

But you know what? 

No matter what anyone says, you get to make whatever decision works best for you. That's your call, not theirs. It doesn't matter that they don't agree with you. It doesn't even matter that they don't like you. They don't have to. They have a right to their opinion, and you have a right to yours. The right move isn't always the popular one and vice versa.

People criticize what they don't agree with or understand. That's no big surprise, it goes with the territory, human nature. But what many people don't realize is that everyone has a right to express their own opinion, and make their own decisions. 

Not only that, but some also believe others exist for their amusement. Their goal in life is to be entertained by everyone around them, and those who fail to meet those expectations become targets of their scorn.

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt

But don't think you have to live your life walking on an eggshell covered minefield trying to make people like you. You don't. It's not important that they like, agree with, or even support your decisions. What does matter is this: your decisions are your own, and ultimately they have to respect them (and you) because no matter how hard they try to convince you otherwise, they cannot change them.

One last thing and this is very important...

You don't have to answer anyone's criticism. You do what's best for you and for others. If certain people don't like what you do with your life chances are good it wasn't meant for them anyway, and taking time to defend yourself against critics prevents you from doing the work you believe in your heart that you should be doing:

"Seldom, if ever, do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would be engaged in little else during the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work." - Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "Letter From Birmingham Jail" 

Always remember, no matter how vocal they are, or opinionated, nobody every erected a monument to a critic. 

So don't be like velcro, don't take criticism personally. Your critics are just expressing an opinion, nothing more. Be more like teflon and let their words slide off like water off a duck's back.

In the long run, you'll last the longest because overcoming criticism isn't just about having thick skin...it's also about having slick skin.

That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time remember...

PLAY BALL..!!!  Oops!!!  Sorry about that (umpire talk)...

I meant...

Keep it simple...  See ya!