"A cheerful disposition is good for your health, gloom and doom leave you bone-tired." - Proverbs 17:22 The Message Bible
DRAMA QUEEN: a person (especially a woman) who acts as though things are much worse than they really are; a person given to often excessively emotional performances or reactions
If there any people in your life who always cry the blues, sing "nobody knows the trouble I've seen," boohoo so much you'd think they bought (or should have bought) all the stock in Kleenex...
You just might know a DRAMA QUEEN...
If there are people in your life who always see themselves as the victim, no matter what happens in their lives, good, bad, or indifferent...
You just might know a DRAMA QUEEN...
If you know someone who sees every situation as a crisis, who always believes "the sky is falling," who always imagines the worst, who could have given lessons to Chicken Little...
You just might know a DRAMA QUEEN... AND FINALLY...
If you know somebody who can take any situation, no matter how big or small it is, that has nothing to do with them, and somehow make it seem like the situation is all about them and only them...
Congratulations...you definitely know a DRAMA QUEEN...
I'll just tell you point blank: if you tolerate having a DQ in your life, you'd better get ready to be drained dry. DQ's are emotional vampires, they never know when to stop draining your energy, and will take it all from you if you let them do it. They see themselves as victims, helpless and powerless. No matter what happens in their lives, they had nothing to do with causing the trouble; it's ALWAYS someone else's fault. They think you should solve their problems, so they put the weight of their world on your shoulders because they expect you to carry it for them. After all, they're "entitled" to get their problems fixed, and you're "obligated" to fix them. Someone else made the mess, so someone else should clean it up, as far as they're concerned. In their minds people exist to make them happy; they assume no responsibility for creating their own happiness. And if they ever do something for you there's an ulterior motive; they want to manipulate you into giving them pats on the back. They get a big kick out of playing the martyr: supposedly sacrificing for your benefit but doing so in a way that ultimately makes you feel guilty about how they bent over backwards to help you.
Just to be clear, when I talk about playing the victim, I'm don't refer to people who have been wounded or traumatized physically, emotionally, mentally, or any other way, people who have experienced genuine loss. Such people need as much love and support as they can get, as often as they can get it. I'm talking about people who overreact to every slight, real or imagined, people who see in every situation a major crisis, in every molehill a mountain, in every anthill an Antarctica. The world revolves around them and their feelings, they have an overactive imagination, and they're sure everybody is out to get them, secretly plotting their demise. These are the people who believe their life should matter more to you than anyone else's (including your own). They feel as if they are entitled to take up all your time, and you are obligated to give them all your attention. They are offended, even outraged, if they catch you doing something that does not involve devoting your entire being to ensure their happiness. They want you to stop everything you're and notice them, because in their minds they have to be the center of attention, all the time. They say, "drop that and come here, I need you to do this for me" so often it should trademark it as their own personal catchphrase. In the words of George Bernard Shaw, they are a "selfish little clod of ailments and grievances wondering why the world won't devote itself to making [them] happy."
If you find yourself sucking up to people like this, and you can identify with just about everything I've said here, and you realize you need to make some changes but don't know what to do, let me offer you some advice that will help:
STOP. JUST DO IT. NOW.
Yes, you read that right. Put a stop to all this madness. It's exhausting, it's draining, and it doesn't do you or them any good at all. These emotional vampires will suck every last ounce of strength from your body if you let them. They don't care if they take it all your energy, or even to pay your last respects if all their drama kills you. They'd seek someone else to feed on, just like a parasite seeks a host. Get the picture?
Face it, you're a donor at their drama bank. You volunteered for duty and didn't know it. Every time they call, you come running, ready for them to stick the needle in your arm all over again. You put up with their tantrums because they're "family," they're "friends," you guys are really close, "...you know I'd do anything for you..", or whatever line of bull they fed you over the years to manipulate you into doing their bidding. Reality check time: your relationship with them has been and will forever be one-sided. It's never about you, it's about them, always has been and always will be. Like fishermen say, it's time to cut bait, the sooner the better. Don't waste time feeling guilty about it. If you want to take care of others, at some point you have to include yourself. DQ's might not see it that way, but we're not talking about them this time...we're talking about YOU. Stop going to their pity parties. Send the guest of honor your apologies, but not your regrets. They won't shape up, so ship them out. They're takers, plain and simple, and you need to cut them loose. Love them from a distance if you have to, but do it. Like now...like yesterday.
"Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do." - Henry Ford
For your health and for your sanity, let them go. Do whatever it takes to make a clean break. It may hurt for a minute, but sometimes you need to hurt in the short term to get healed in the long run.
There is nothing wrong with volunteering at a blood bank. I've done it myself a few times. It is selfless, it is honorable, it is a noble deed to give a part of yourself so that someone else can have a chance at life. There is nothing the least bit honorable about letting anyone suck the very life out of you until there's nothing left at all. Doing so doesn't help you or anyone else. Don't let anyone talk you into becoming a martyr so they can keep playing the victim. Stop worshiping at the throne of the Drama Queen. Kick them off the throne and seize their crown; they have no right to rule your life.
Let them fuss, holler, kick and scream all they want, it makes no difference. You gave your power away, and you can take it back. Spend your precious life, and your valuable time with people who love you most, and appreciate you best. Let them celebrate you as much as you celebrate them.
The sooner you do, the sooner you'll be:
That's all y'all, gotta run... Until we meet again, remember:
Keep it simple....See ya!
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