"Be not forward (self-assertive and boastfully ambitious) in the presence of the king, and stand not in the place of great men: For better it is that it should be said to you, Come up here, than that you should be put lower in the presence of the prince, whose eyes have seen you." - Proverbs 25: 6,7 AMP
It is said that people do business with those they know, like and trust. It is also said that the best way to connect with people is to find a way to establish common ground with them. And the best way to do that, I believe, is to reassure them that you know what it's like to walk in their shoes, because you've been where they are and know how they feel, you know how to get from where they are now to where they'd rather be, and you're willing to help them get there.
I learned this lesson firsthand during my years in Toastmasters International, an organization dedicated to communication and leadership training. My first visit to a local club meeting answered some important questions that rattled my brain:
Can these people help me to become a good communicator and better leader?
Can they show me how to have more self-confidence?
Do they really know how I feel right now?
Can they help me overcome my fears and doubts?
They put my mind at ease very quickly, because several of the members shared how they felt when they started out (some called it "overcoming the knocking knees") and I learned that no matter how successful they became from the training they received, they never forgot how it felt to be a scared little newbie. They took great care to encourage, reassure and congratulate guests and new members alike whenever a milestone was reached, no matter how small the achievement may have seemed.
In business as in Toastmasters, this principle is no different. All the guests and newbies look around with wide eyes, awed, scared of what's going on, and when they see and hear all there is to see and hear, somewhere in the back of their minds they are thinking:
Can I really do this?
Do I really have to say all that I'm hearing them say? I don't know if I can do all that...
It is the leader's job to answer these questions while putting their minds at ease. A leader can successfully answer these questions if he knows the difference between two key words...
Words which I will reveal in the next installment of this article. Give heed to what you've read so far, and look for Part II soon. But if you just can't wait for what comes next, here's a hint:
That's all for now, gotta run. Until we meet again, remember...
Keep it simple... See ya!
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