MASQUERADE: a way of appearing or behaving that is not true or real; an action or appearance that is mere disguise or show
CREDIBILITY: the quality of being believed or accepted as being true, real, or honest; the quality or power of inspiring belief; capacity for belief
Have you ever heard the saying, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression"..? I know I've heard it many times, and I bet you have, too. On the surface it seems to make a lot of sense, because after all, it pays to put your best foot forward when you meet someone for the first time, right?
Well, the answer is yes...and no. Let me explain.
Making a good first impression can be beneficial in the long run...as long as you are genuine. In baseball it is said that the quality most appreciated in a good umpire is consistency; the decisions he makes in the first inning are the same in the ninth inning. So it is in life; people want to know you are the same person tomorrow that they see today. They don't like flakes, and they don't like fakes. Many people seek to impress with pretense, only to have it backfire on them. Nobody can play a fake role for very long without dropping their guard at some point. When that does happen, and people finally get to see who you really are, you will lose something very valuable in their eyes: TRUST. And trust is something that is hard to keep, easy to break, and once broken, difficult to repair. They no longer trust you to show them who you really are, because you did not trust them to make an accurate assessment of you, based on who you really are, not who you appear to be.
Why do so many people pretend to be someone they're not for the sake of impressing others? Because they fear rejection. They fear that if people saw the real man or woman behind the mask, they may not like what they see. Truth is, we cannot arrange our own credibility with others; we must let others establish it for us. We cannot build our own reputation with phoniness, but we can surely destroy it.
Ever heard of "social proof"..? It takes place in the dating scene and applies just as much in business as to personal relationships. Here's an example:
A man may have trouble finding a date, much less a woman who shows him any interest. Females avoid him like the plague because he seems unappealing. But let just one woman find something about him that is the least bit interesting, no matter how small it seems, something that makes her feel good about herself, and suddenly he has more female attention than he can handle, women competing so hard for the attention that they seem to be stalking him; before long they're invading his space so much that he has to beat them off with a stick. (a nice problem to have, some men might say)
The same thing happens with a woman who isn't noticed by most men. All it takes is one man to shower her with any amount of attention or affection, be it large or small, for any reason at all, then suddenly she has men competing for her attention who didn't care about her at all before. Why? Because her value was established in the eyes of another man. She was seen as a person worth getting to know better. And she didn't have to do anything to make it happen, other than letting people see her genuine self. No more, no less.
So what am I saying here? Simply this: if you want to make a good impression on people, whether it's the first one, the next one, or the all-important lasting one, the way to put your best foot forward is to be yourself. Don't worry about what others think, and don't pretend to be someone you're not. Be your own person, and trust the people you meet to make their own assessments about you, good, bad, or indifferent.
Don't brag about how good you think you are to others. Nobody likes a braggart, and even if what you say is true, you will turn people off by your overabundant display of self-importance and conceit. A haughty attitude never helps, and a humble spirit never hurts. Let others see that you are comfortable with yourself just as you are, even when you make the occasional mistake. People will relate best to those who help them to become comfortable with themselves, for better or worse.
Be real with people. Be genuine, don't be fake. Let people decide for themselves who you are in their eyes. Trust that they will see you at your authentic best, and when the dust settles, you will have won a most precious prize:
RESPECT: a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.; a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way; a high or special regard: ESTEEM
...and in the long run, that is the best "street cred" of all...
That's all for now, gotta run. Until we meet again, remember:
Keep it simple...See ya!
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