"Close friends and relatives, while not meaning to do so, often handicap one through 'opinions' and sometimes through ridicule, which is meant to be humorous. Thousands of men and women carry inferiority complexes with them all through life, because some well-meaning, but ignorant person destroyed their confidence through 'opinions' or ridicule." - Napoleon Hill
In Chapter 10 of his book Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn, entitled "Bad Experiences: The Perspective for Learning," John C. Maxwell tells the story of Giuseppe who lived in California. He was a proud man who earned his living as a fisherman, working hard to support his family. He believed his profession was honest and honorable and assumed his sons would follow in his footsteps. Fishing was not only Giuseppe's livelihood, but it was also in his blood. Fishing was his passion.
As expected, Giuseppe's sons followed in his footsteps and became fishermen too. All except one, that is. Little Giuseppe, named after his father, did not share that passion. He didn't enjoy fishing at all; the smell of fish made him sick. This greatly disappointed the father, who openly expressed his feelings about the son's lack of interest in fishing. He often ridiculed his son, calling him "good for nothing Joe," as the father believed anything the son did that had nothing to do with fishing was a waste of time.
Giuseppe offered to work in his father's office, repair the nets, anything he could do to prove himself worthy of his father's favor, but it was no use. Shining shoes and delivering newspapers to bring in money wasn't good enough for the elder Giuseppe either, despite the fact that Joe's pay helped the family make ends meet. Since it didn't involve fishing, the father saw no value in it.
It seemed all Joe's hard work would never be recognized or respected by his father.
As it turns out, Giuseppe's "good for nothing" son really was good at something. Where the father saw Joe as lazy and lackadaisical, others saw a sense of calm, focus, and seemingly effortless grace. They also saw a young man who took pride in his profession, who worked just as hard as his father did. Joe was a fierce competitor who did everything possible to excel. He had a burning desire to succeed, to win.
As a young man Joe moved east to pursue his profession. You see, Joe hated fishing...but he loved baseball. And while his father saw no value in anything Joe did outside of fishing, millions of baseball fans saw nothing wrong with the way Joe played. They called him Joltin' Joe, because he played so well, every inning of every game, at a steady, consistent level of dependability and excellence. When asked late in his career why he played with such intensity despite being injured he simply replied, "Because somebody out there may have never seen me play before."
Joe earned the respect of fans, teammates, even opponents. Ask any fan of the New York Yankees and they'll tell you about Joe DiMaggio, the kid from San Francisco whose father once called him "good for nothing," the man who became not only a baseball star, but a legend.
Just like Joe, all of us have some unique gift, talent, special ability that is as natural to us as breathing. But don't think for a moment that the people in your midst, whether friends or loved ones, will always recognize the talents you possess, or even support the pursuit of your goals and dreams as you seek to develop those talents.
There may be someone in your life who thinks you're "good for nothing." But you must look deep within your heart to find out just what your talent is. That is what makes you stand out, what makes you most unique. While it may be true that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" (Oliver Platt), not everyone can recognize beauty when they see it, much less appreciate it.
It can be disappointing, even discouraging when the people closest to you fail to see your worth, but that doesn't mean you don't have any. Value is like sunshine on a cloudy day...just because you can't easily see it doesn't mean it isn't there. Here's what you need to do:
First, you must determine that you will find that value for yourself. Look inside, find out what makes you special, and embrace it. Don't look for approval from the outside, you won't get it. Approve first of yourself and your uniqueness, only then can you let others see it for themselves.
Second, and most important, ignore the criticism of people who don't recognize your uniqueness, or your value. Never let anyone's disapproval or ridicule shut you down, cause you to give up on yourself or fail to express your special kind of greatness. You have something to contribute to this world, some great service to perform. There is a void in this life that only you can fulfill.
If you can do these two things, you will find yourself gaining a very special benefit, something you probably thought you'd never earn:
the respect of the people who once put you down. You can prove all the doubters wrong who laughed at you, made fun of you, tried to humiliate and embarrass you. One way or another, your critics will have to admit how much they admire you for remaining true to yourself, and for chasing your dreams.
Just so you know, the day did arrive when Giuseppe opened his eyes and saw his once "good for nothing" son had become a special man whose value others got to know and appreciate. The same can happen for you if you remain true to who you are rather than the one others think you should be.
Every "good for nothing" can discover he is good for something so long as he follows Shakespeare's timeless advice:
"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not be false then to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"
- Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78-82
That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time, remember:
Keep it simple... See ya!
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