Prove It To Yourself First

CONVINCE: 

- to cause (someone) to believe that something is true
- to cause (someone) to agree to do something

PROVE:
- to learn or find out by experience
- to test the truth, validity, or genuineness of
- to test the worth or quality of, specifically: to compare against a standard

CONFIDENCE: 
- a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something
- a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstance
- faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
- the quality or state of being certain

Many times it has been said that people who are determined to succeed have an urge to prove their critics wrong. I agree. The desire to rub success in the faces of doubters and naysayers can be a powerful incentive.

I submit to you that this is only part of the story. If you stop there, the glass stays half full. It is not enough to prove people wrong. There must be more. Here's why:

To seek your life's purpose solely in response to criticism is to live as described by Lao Tzu: "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner."

Don't let life revolve only around what others think of you, good or bad. Les Brown says it best: "What others think of you is none of your business."  As you travel the road to achieving self-mastery, don't let your life get shrink-wrapped in a cocoon, held together by the opinions of supporters and detractors.

Your success is not about others, it's about you. It's a personal journey which helps you develop your unique talents, abilities, skills, and ultimately your greatness. On your terms.

Gaining confidence in your life isn't about convincing others to believe in you and your potential. It has to do with taking the time to prove to yourself what you are capable of doing. What others say about you is not as important as what you say about yourself.

People live below their potential not because the people in their midst have no faith in them, but because they have little to no faith in their own capabilities.

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low and reaching our mark." - Michelangelo

"The life you live is the result of the story you believe about yourself." - Les Brown

"Whatever you say after the words I AM will come looking for you." - Joel Osteen

Before you can prove to anyone else what you can do, you must prove it to yourself first. It doesn't matter how many people believe in you or what you can do, if you don't believe it first nothing of any significance will be accomplished.

Don't sweat over trying to convince others about how valuable or talented you are, or your product, your skills, even your service. That's not the starting block.

The person who must first be convinced is YOU. Whatever needs to happen in your life begins with you first. Michael Jackson was right; you have to start with the "man (or woman) in the mirror.."

Confidence, like success, works from the inside out, not the other way around. You may not be yet be an expert at the things you like to do, but neither were the experts when they started. 

As the saying goes, "every master was once a disaster." As you consistently apply yourself, making adjustments along the way your confidence level can't help but grow:

"You don't have to be great to get started but you have to get started to be great." - Zig Ziglar

"Sometimes you have to believe in somebody's belief in you until your own belief kicks in." - Les Brown

Think of the jar of water that is used to prime a pump. To draw the water from the well you must empty the jar of water into the pump. Then you keep working that pump until the well's water gushes out.

In like manner you must keep priming your pump with that jar of borrowed confidence until your own confidence bubbles up.

Ultimately that's what you want. To prove to yourself what you can do. To build your own confidence from the inside out. To convince yourself that you can do all that your heart desires to achieve. 

Nothing is more convincing to others than the knowledge that you are convinced within yourself about what you can do.  There's an old saying that's as wise as it is true: "Set yourself on fire and everyone will come watch you burn."

It's time to get fired up about yourself and your potential. Learn to emerge from the shadow of your fears and step into the light of your greatness.

Once you do so, not only will your light shine for all to see but at any given time you will do what Johnny Storm of Fantastic Four fame always says when it's time for action...

FLAME ON...!!!

That's all for now, gotta run.

Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...   See ya!

Lend Them Your Ears, Part 2

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears..." - Mark Antony, from 'Julius Caesar' by William Shakespeare, Act 3, Scene 2

"If you don't go to other people's funerals they won't go to yours." - Yogi Berra (1925-2015)

Hi again!

Last time I mentioned how I listened to two of my sisters sharing their concerns about certain issues, and was able to help to address their problems by keeping my eyes open for information that could help them.

I also gave you a hint at the end of my last post as to why I was able to give them the help they needed.  You know, the whole "two eyes, two ears, one mouth" thing, right..?

Well long story short, here's why I was successful in helping my sisters. And no, it had nothing to do with being "family." There are people in this world who are loathe to do anything for their family members, much less with them. 

(Fortunately I'm not one of those people, in case you're wondering, but I digress)

Here it is, in a nutshell as some would say:

To be successful with people you learn more from observation than with conversation.  People talk with people who are more willing to listen than talk.  

If you can develop your listening skills you will find that people open up to you with their thoughts, feelings, and concerns a lot more often. Why?  Because they feel they can trust you.

Zig Ziglar said it best: "People don't care what you know until they know that you care." Les Brown adds, "People build relationships with people they know, like and trust, and have proven themselves."  Words to live by, for sure.

Once you have listened to them with care and concern they are willing to hear what you have to share with them because you honored them with your complete, undivided attention.

A great resource that sheds light on this topic is, "Don't Be That Guy in Network Marketing," by Adam and Michelle Carey. 

Network marketing may not be your cup of tea, but Adam and Michelle do a phenomenal job explaining the importance of active listening that anyone can apply to make better connections. 

Read Chapter 3, the "Lacking Listener," that one chapter is worth the price of the book, in my humble opinion. 

It explains the listening issue in detail and shares simple strategies you can use to connect with people and show them how important they are to you. Go to Amazon.com and check it out, you'll be glad you did.

Long story short, people want to be heard.  They want to be noticed, to know they are taken seriously. The sweetest sound anyone can hear is the sound of their own name on your lips.

Give them your attention and they'll almost feel obligated to hear what you have to say, at least out of common courtesy.

Don't beat people over the head verbally to make them hear you. Let them know you put their interests above your own. Besides, nobody wants to drink water from a fire hydrant when a cup of water will do just fine, thank you.

Become good at lending your ears to people who just want to vent, to sound off, to get things off their chest. If you can master this skill you will discover two things:

1.  That you have access to information they need (or maybe know how to get it), and...

2.  After you lend your ears and they find out you may be able to help them, they'll be willing to lend you theirs

That's all for now, gotta run.

Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...  See ya!

Lend Them Your Ears

ATTENTION: 
- the act or power of carefully thinking about, listening to, or watching someone or something
- notice, interest or awareness; special care or treatment
- observation, notice: especially: consideration with a view to action

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears..."
- Mark Antony, from the play 'Julius Caesar,' by William Shakespeare, Act 3, Scene 2

Recently one of my sisters shared a concern with one of her sons. She's taking care of a newborn and sees her 3 year old getting bored. She wants to help him but doesn't know what she can do.

I didn't know what to do either so I just listened as she vented her frustration.

Another one of my sisters is gung ho about health and fitness. Because of her busy work schedule any time spent at the gym is a precious commodity. She works hard to improve her health and talks often about taking personal responsibility for her wellness.

Again I didn't know what to do other than listen, so I gave her my attention and considered what she said. Not just because she's my sister but because I think she's right. I also have an interest in health and wellness so hearing what she had to say was not a problem.

Because I listened intently I was able to share some information I picked up when I was out and about that helped both of them:

For the "new mom" sister I shared a website I found for a youth soccer program geared to children around her son's age, a program not far from her house.

For my "health and wellness" sister I shared an online article that reveals 16 different foods that can burn belly fat. Some of the foods she was already eating but others were a pleasant surprise.

My sisters greatly appreciated what I shared with them, for two reasons:  

First, because it was just the kind of knowledge they needed for their particular situation, and...

Second, because I listened to what they had to say, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to help them resolve their problems. 

Both situations reminded me of a very important lesson, a lesson that is required for anyone who wishes to be successful in any area of life, whether personally or professionally.

I'll share more details about that lesson next time, but here's a hint. It's something I learned as a child and taught it to my own children when I became a parent. It goes something like this:

God gave us two eyes, two ears, and one mouth because that's how often He wants us to use them...  DO THE MATH..!!!

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...  See ya!