Lend Them Your Ears, Part 2

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears..." - Mark Antony, from 'Julius Caesar' by William Shakespeare, Act 3, Scene 2

"If you don't go to other people's funerals they won't go to yours." - Yogi Berra (1925-2015)

Hi again!

Last time I mentioned how I listened to two of my sisters sharing their concerns about certain issues, and was able to help to address their problems by keeping my eyes open for information that could help them.

I also gave you a hint at the end of my last post as to why I was able to give them the help they needed.  You know, the whole "two eyes, two ears, one mouth" thing, right..?

Well long story short, here's why I was successful in helping my sisters. And no, it had nothing to do with being "family." There are people in this world who are loathe to do anything for their family members, much less with them. 

(Fortunately I'm not one of those people, in case you're wondering, but I digress)

Here it is, in a nutshell as some would say:

To be successful with people you learn more from observation than with conversation.  People talk with people who are more willing to listen than talk.  

If you can develop your listening skills you will find that people open up to you with their thoughts, feelings, and concerns a lot more often. Why?  Because they feel they can trust you.

Zig Ziglar said it best: "People don't care what you know until they know that you care." Les Brown adds, "People build relationships with people they know, like and trust, and have proven themselves."  Words to live by, for sure.

Once you have listened to them with care and concern they are willing to hear what you have to share with them because you honored them with your complete, undivided attention.

A great resource that sheds light on this topic is, "Don't Be That Guy in Network Marketing," by Adam and Michelle Carey. 

Network marketing may not be your cup of tea, but Adam and Michelle do a phenomenal job explaining the importance of active listening that anyone can apply to make better connections. 

Read Chapter 3, the "Lacking Listener," that one chapter is worth the price of the book, in my humble opinion. 

It explains the listening issue in detail and shares simple strategies you can use to connect with people and show them how important they are to you. Go to Amazon.com and check it out, you'll be glad you did.

Long story short, people want to be heard.  They want to be noticed, to know they are taken seriously. The sweetest sound anyone can hear is the sound of their own name on your lips.

Give them your attention and they'll almost feel obligated to hear what you have to say, at least out of common courtesy.

Don't beat people over the head verbally to make them hear you. Let them know you put their interests above your own. Besides, nobody wants to drink water from a fire hydrant when a cup of water will do just fine, thank you.

Become good at lending your ears to people who just want to vent, to sound off, to get things off their chest. If you can master this skill you will discover two things:

1.  That you have access to information they need (or maybe know how to get it), and...

2.  After you lend your ears and they find out you may be able to help them, they'll be willing to lend you theirs

That's all for now, gotta run.

Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...  See ya!