Why You Shouldn't Wait...NOW Is Your Time!

"He who watches the wind [waiting for all conditions to be perfect] will not sow [seed], and he who looks at the clouds will not reap [a harvest]." - Ecclesiastes 11:4 AMP

"Behold, now is the acceptable time, behold, now is the day of salvation..." - 2 Corinthians 6:2 AMP

WAIT: to pause for another to catch up; to remain stationery in readiness or expectation; to remain temporarily neglected or unrealized

PROCRASTINATION: the habit of being slow or late about doing something that should be done: the delay in doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, you are lazy, etc.

Do you remember Goldilocks and the Three Bears? I heard the story in my childhood, and chances are you did, too.

A little girl, Goldilocks, wanders through the woods, stumbles upon the bears' cottage. She eats their porridge, sits in their chairs, sleeps in their beds. She chooses the ones that she likes best, and is found by the bears in the baby's bed sound asleep, because to her it feels "just right."

It's an entertaining tale that delights the young and the young at heart.  But it's just a fairy tale. Nothing more.  You'll see why I mention this is a moment...

Have you ever read "Letter From Birmingham Jail"..? Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote it in 1963 as he sat in a jail cell after being arrested for demonstrating against segregation in that southern city. Birmingham's clergy questioned his motives for visiting their area. They feared King's efforts would backfire, and his presence would tear apart their community. 

They argued that the time for such change in Birmingham wasn't right yet, and while they agreed with King that segregation was wrong, they believed the battle to end it should take place in the courts, not the streets. Rev. King's letter directly addressed their concerns.

His letter explained why he knew the time for waiting had long passed. He wrote about the sting of discouragement felt by people told to "wait," over and over again. He knew what "wait" really meant: we don't want it to happen, and we hope you'll wait long enough to give up. 

After 100 years of waiting to experience rights promised in the Emancipation Proclamation many people had yet to enjoy, Rev. King quoted Justice Earl Warren to voice his position: 

"Justice too long delayed is justice denied...We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed." - Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you ever get a chance, go online to read the full letter. You'll be glad you did.  I found this link very helpful:

http://www.uscrossier.org/pullias/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/king.pdf

Now you may be wondering at this point...

Goldilocks and the Three Bears has absolutely nothing to do with Letter From a Birmingham Jail! One is a child's story, the other represents a turning point in American history. Surely they don't have a single thing in common...

RIGHT..???

Well, at first glance you might be correct, but if you look a bit closer you'll see an important lesson, a common thread that winds the two together. You can use this common thread to find success in 2016.

And I'll reveal that thread to you...

Next time... 

Here's a hint to get your wheels turning...

That's all for now, gotta run.  

Until next time, remember...

Keep it siimple...  See ya!

The Sweetest Revenge, Part 2

"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty give him water to drink; For in doing so you will heap coals of fire upon his head. And the Lord will reward you." - Proverbs 25:21,22 AMP

An often overlooked definition of revenge is: "an opportunity for getting satisfaction..."

Now you may think the only way to get satisfaction is to give them a taste of their own medicine, to make them suffer just like you did.

But there is a better way to get revenge, one that doesn't cause any hurt, pain, or intentionally emotional distress.

The best way to explain this is to recall those times as kids when we injured ourselves. We got hurt. Fell down, skinned our knees. We felt burning, stinging pain...and wanted to get rid of it like yesterday.  

But as much as we wanted to, we couldn't speed things up. We had to let the healing process run its course, no matter how long it took.

Over time a scab developed while the skin underneath healed and grew stronger. When the scab fell off there may have been a scar left over where the wound once was, but there was no more pain, and our knee felt good as new.

Just as our bodies get hurt, our hearts and minds do, too. But there is a difference.

When our bodies are injured, healing automatically begins without our input. But when we are wounded inwardly we have a choice as to how the healing takes place...or if it takes place at all.

We can decide to get bitter...or better.  What's the difference, you ask? It all depends on where we place our focus.

When we get bitter all we think about is how the other person did us wrong. We willingly play the part of the victim who was hurt unfairly, whether or not it is justified.  

It's true that life isn't always fair, no doubt. But it's also true that we get to choose how we respond to what happens to us, for better or for worse.

By choosing to get better we don't look outwardly, but inwardly. We focus on ourselves. Even when things happen to us that are as unexpected as they are unfair, we look at ourselves and decide how we'll respond in the midst of a tough situation.

When we're bitter, we base our happiness on what others do for us, or to us. Our sense of well being is tied directly to what others do. We believe that nothing we do makes any difference.

But by getting better we become responsible for our happiness. We get involved in the process of creating our value. We aren't quick to blame others for our misery. For life to be worth living, we must do something to make it happen, not rely on someone else to do it for us.

We realize we have no time to carry grudges. Bitterness is a luxury we can't afford. We don't play victim, we don't say woe is me, and we don't sing, "...nobody knows the trouble I seen," because we understand that everyone faces hard times and challenges. Life isn't all about us, it's about all of us.

Taking an active role in getting better helps us let go of the idea that others exist to make us happy. We don't talk about what others "made" us do. We talk instead about what we choose to do. 

Best of all, we know we have the power to make whatever changes are necessary. We literally take back the power over our lives that we used to give away to others without knowing it.

As we take time to grow beyond the hurt and the pain, we become better. The process might take a minute, but we get to discover a level of maturity we never would have reached if we let hurt and anger get the best of us. 

We can reach levels of satisfaction in life that do not require us to sacrifice our honesty, integrity, or self respect. We can look in the mirror and like what we see because we didn't make someone else suffer pain or distress...and we'll sleep better at night with a clear conscience, the softest of all pillows.  

Just imagine what could happen if we all did this. We would learn once and for all that not only is this is possible, but we would also find out that Old Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra himself was right when he said:

"The best revenge is massive success..."

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...  See ya!

The Sweetest Revenge

REVENGE:  the act of doing something to hurt someone because that person did something to hurt you; the act of defeating an opponent who has defeated you in the past; an act or instance of retaliating in order to get even; an opportunity for getting satisfaction

When most people hear the word "revenge," the first thought that comes to mind is getting payback. Getting even. You feel that if someone hurt you, you should hurt them back. 

As a child I was told when I went to school, "If someone hits you, then you should hit them back," so the idea of making someone suffer who made you suffer seems pretty natural.

After all, didn't we all grow up with the idea that if somebody did wrong, at the end of the day they should get a "taste of their own medicine"..? That's what I heard, and I bet some of you heard it, too.

Having said all this, you probably also heard that seeking revenge is wrong because it does no good to hurt someone who hurt you first. "Two wrongs don't make a right," is what we were told to justify not seeking to make someone else suffer our pain.

We also heard, "forgive and forget," just let it go as if it was all right that it happened. You know as well as I do that the kind of forgiveness that pretends nothing went wrong doesn't help anyone. 

But you also know that getting back at the person who did you wrong isn't the best strategy either.  So what do you do?

You get revenge! Yes, that's right, you get revenge! 

Now you may be thinking, didn't you just say we shouldn't seek revenge because hurting the other person doesn't help us or them?
Yes I did, but that's not the kind of revenge I'm talking about.

There's a kind of revenge that tastes sweeter than honey in the honeycomb. And it doesn't do anybody any harm, not you, not them, nobody.

I realize this seems like a contradiction, but I assure you it's not.

If you're willing to stick with me I can tell you all about it...

Next time.

But before I go I'll give you this hint: it has a lot to do with what happens when you skin your knee.  Confused? Don't worry, I'll have it all cleared up in Part 2...next time.

So until we meet again take care and remember...

Keep it simple...   See ya!

What Umpires Taught Me About Handling Criticism

"And let the peace (soul harmony which comes from Christ) rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving thanks to God always]." - Colossians 3:15 AMPC

CRITICISM: the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing: the act of criticizing someone or something; a remark or comment that expresses disapproval of someone or something; the act of criticizing usually unfavorably

They don't play for any team. They don't take sides (at least I don't think so). Baseball fans want them to be like children, seen but not heard. Some say when they're not noticed they're doing a great job.

Who are they? The umpires, the "men in blue." Their calls affect a game's outcome. Fair or foul. Ball or strike. Safe or out. And in the end, victory or defeat.

They're the least popular guys on the field because their call can make your team win or lose. Or so it seems. They "call it as they see it." They realize you may not agree with their decision. That's okay, it goes with the territory. Good call or bad, it stands.

As one umpire said during my dad's playing days: "It ain't nothin' 'til I call it..!!" Umps make their decision and stick by it. Period.

Baseball broadcaster and long-time catcher Tim McCarver said it best whenever players and managers disagreed with umpires calls:

"Agreement is not necessary.."

Like any other fan, I don't care for the umps very much when my favorite team plays. But I respect their ability to keep order during the game from first pitch to last. I also respect them because they taught me a valuable lesson from their example: 

They taught me how to make a call and stick with it, even when people disagree with you and wish you'd change your mind. I learned from them that you have to stick with your convictions, no matter how unpopular they may be in the minds of others.

In life, as in baseball, you'll make decisions that people won't like. They won't agree with you, and they won't be shy about letting you know how they feel. They'll second guess you and question your judgment. Mock you, ridicule you, make fun of you. Call you every name under the sun because they think you're out of your mind. 

They may try to humiliate you, embarrass you, intimidate or even shame you for your views because they think you're wrong. 

But you know what? 

No matter what anyone says, you get to make whatever decision works best for you. That's your call, not theirs. It doesn't matter that they don't agree with you. It doesn't even matter that they don't like you. They don't have to. They have a right to their opinion, and you have a right to yours. The right move isn't always the popular one and vice versa.

People criticize what they don't agree with or understand. That's no big surprise, it goes with the territory, human nature. But what many people don't realize is that everyone has a right to express their own opinion, and make their own decisions. 

Not only that, but some also believe others exist for their amusement. Their goal in life is to be entertained by everyone around them, and those who fail to meet those expectations become targets of their scorn.

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt

But don't think you have to live your life walking on an eggshell covered minefield trying to make people like you. You don't. It's not important that they like, agree with, or even support your decisions. What does matter is this: your decisions are your own, and ultimately they have to respect them (and you) because no matter how hard they try to convince you otherwise, they cannot change them.

One last thing and this is very important...

You don't have to answer anyone's criticism. You do what's best for you and for others. If certain people don't like what you do with your life chances are good it wasn't meant for them anyway, and taking time to defend yourself against critics prevents you from doing the work you believe in your heart that you should be doing:

"Seldom, if ever, do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would be engaged in little else during the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work." - Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "Letter From Birmingham Jail" 

Always remember, no matter how vocal they are, or opinionated, nobody every erected a monument to a critic. 

So don't be like velcro, don't take criticism personally. Your critics are just expressing an opinion, nothing more. Be more like teflon and let their words slide off like water off a duck's back.

In the long run, you'll last the longest because overcoming criticism isn't just about having thick skin...it's also about having slick skin.

That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time remember...

PLAY BALL..!!!  Oops!!!  Sorry about that (umpire talk)...

I meant...

Keep it simple...  See ya!

How To Spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S in 2016...With EIGHT Letters!

Hello again!

Last time I discussed the notion that most people who make New Year's Resolutions fail. Dr. John Norcross of the University of Scranton did a study that revealed how few people that make resolutions actually follow though on them.

If you missed my last blog post, you can go here to find Dr. Norcross' work:  http://www.changeologybook.com/dr-john-norcross/

You may be curious as to why I say you can achieve success in 2016 with eight letters when it's obvious it only takes seven letters to spell success. It's just like the cheerleaders said back in the day:

S-U-C-C-E-S-S..!!! That's the way we spell SUCCESS..!!!

And you know, they're right. That is how you spell success.  But that's not what you must do to achieve success.  It's much simpler than that. Not easy, I admit, but simple. And as Les Brown likes to say, "It's possible."

I see people failing to keep New Year's Resolutions for the following reasons...

First, they are resolutions. Resolutions are based on intention, not determination. Resolutions are just something people would like to see happen. For many, "it would be nice" if it happened for them, but they're not committed to making it happen. It's not something they like to do. It may not even be something they want to do.

Their resolution is something they'd rather have someone do for them instead of having to do it themselves because it would be so much easier (and so much LAZIER) for someone to handle all the details for them, i.e., have others roll up their sleeves and do all the dirty work so they can bask in the results. 

And second, this is where the rubber meets the road, folks... whatever you plan, resolution or not, will not happen for you until it becomes this first:

P-R-I-O-R-I-T-Y 

Did you count the letters?  Did they add up to eight?  Good. Then congratulations! You just learned how to spell success with eight letters!  This is how PRIORITY is defined (from www.m-w.com:)

something that is more important than other things and needs to be done or dealt with first; something that someone cares about and thinks is important; something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives 

Point blank, people don't keep New Year's Resolutions, or any other kind of commitments, because those emotional decisions aren't backed up by action.  And those decisions aren't backed up by action because they really aren't that important at all.

Don't believe me?  Have you ever worked on something important to you, only to hear comments like this from people who didn't share your passion for success..?

It don't take all that!
I don't see myself doing what you do!
I can't understand why you have to work so hard. Why don't you just take it easy? You're killing yourself for no good reason!
It's not going to do you any good. You're just wasting your time!

Such comments (and many others) remind me of what Eric Thomas, PhD likes to say often:

"Everybody wants to be a BEAST...until it's time to do what beasts do..!"

Everybody wants to reap the reward, but nobody wants to do the work, or so it seems. As the old saying goes, "Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die."

Simply put, no matter what you say you want to do, if you don't make it a priority in your life, it's not going to get done. PERIOD! End of story.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of what you want to achieve. Most likely they won't understand what you're doing anyway. And they really don't have to. Best of all, you don't owe them an explanation. It's not their dream, it's not their resolution. It's not their plan.  It's YOURS.

So I'm not going to tell you to make a resolution for New Year's or not to make a resolution. That's your choice to make, not mine. What I will tell you is this:

If you do want to make a New Year's Resolution for 2016, fine. Go for it.  But don't stop there.  Make a plan. Work your plan. Stick with your plan. 

Keep working your plan when it doesn't make sense to others. Keep working your plan when it doesn't make sense to YOU.

And when life happens to you, as it will happen to us all, instead of letting it get in your way, determine that what you want to achieve in 2016 is still a priority for you. 

Don't be dissuaded, discouraged or distracted by those who don't share your vision, who don't think what you are doing is all that important. What you're doing might not be for them anyway, so what they have to say about it really doesn't matter.

It is true that what you want to do might not be easy. It is true that what you're doing may not be easy for anyone else to understand. It may even be true that people in your midst may not think what you seek to achieve is even necessary...

But it's a good bet that someone you don't know yet does think so. It's a good bet that you are the answer to someone's prayers, that what you have to offer is exactly what they need.

You might not know it, but they do. So keep going. Keep working. Keep believing that what you have to offer is important to someone, even if it's someone you don't yet know.

If you can do that, you may learn that 2016 will be a better year for you than you could have ever dreamed possible.

And if you can keep going when things "get too hard," you may learn the truth that Tom Hanks' character shared with Geena Davis' character in the movie A League of Their Own...

Whatever you plan to achieve in 2016, keep this in mind, and make it a great New Year next year, and every year going forward...

"To Infinity...and beyond..!!" - Buzz Lightyear

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until next time...or next year...

Keep it simple...  See ya!

How To Spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S in 2016

RESOLUTION: the act or process of resolving: as the act of determining; firmness of resolve; a formal expression of opinion, will, or intent

At the end of December people make resolutions to welcome the new year. Resolutions are simply changes that people plan for the purpose of enjoying more success in the coming year than they experienced in the outgoing one.

People say they want to lose weight, eat healthier, get rid of old habits like smoking, begin new chapters in their lives. Stuff like that.

At first, it all sounds good. Who doesn't want to change for the better? 

But then those emotional moments of euphoria pass. Life becomes normal again. As some would say, "the rubber meets the road," and then we find out who's really committed to making those changes become reality.

For most, chances are better than good those changes won't happen.

It is rare that people keep those commitments past the end of the new year's first month, let alone the first week.  As February first rolls around, most people are thinking: 

Resolutions? What resolutions? We don't need no stinking Resolutions..!!!

as they are glued to their big screens watching the Big Game, the news, a soap opera, or (gasp) "reality" television. (Face it folks, it's all entertainment. Is there really much difference anymore?)

University of Scranton professor John Norcross, PhD did a study of New Year's resolutions and to quote Gomer Pyle: 

People rarely keep the resolutions they make. (Shocking, I know, right?) Dr. Norcross found as few as 8% of people reach the goals they set when they make resolutions. (You can learn more about Dr. Norcross here:  http://www.changeologybook.com/dr-john-norcross/)

Many agree with Dr. Norcross that people who make New Year's resolutions usually fail. Just as many believe they know why there is such a high failure rate.

Personally I feel there is one simple explanation...

...and I'll share that explanation in Part 2 because I've run out of time...

Don't worry, it will arrive just in time for 2016, and it's something to keep in mind when you need to stay focused.

So keep your eyes open, and I'll greet you again tomorrow...

Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel...  (oops sorry, had a 60's flashback...my bad)

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...  See ya!

Keep Them Out Of The Loop

"He who walks [as a companion] with wise men will be wise, But the companions of conceited [dull-witted] fools [are fools themselves] and will experience harm." - Proverbs 13:20 AMP

"Close friends and relatives, while not meaning to do so, often handicap one through 'opinions' and sometimes through ridicule, which is meant to be humorous. Thousands of men and women carry inferiority complexes with them all through life, because some well-meaning, but ignorant person destroyed their confidence through opinions or ridicule." - Napoleon Hill

RIDICULE:  the act of making fun of someone in a cruel or harsh way; harsh comments made by people who are laughing at someone or something

There are dreams and goals in your heart that you long to pursue. Pursuing them causes joy to spring from your heart, and makes life worth living. 

There are also people in your life who don't share your vision. They don't understand what moves you, inspires you, drives you to excel. In their minds your heart's desire doesn't make sense at all.

Because of this they try their best to talk you out of pursuing your dreams, as they don't "make sense." They can't figure out why you do what you do, or why it matters to you so much.

But that's okay.  Do you know why?

Because the vision for your life doesn't belong to them, it belongs to YOU. Your vision fulfilled has the potential to bring joy to your life and to countless other lives...on your terms.

You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why your goals mean so much to you. You are your own person; you don't have to justify yourself to anyone else.

There are people in this world who desperately need to receive the gift you have to offer. You may be the only one who can bring joy and meaning to their lives. 

More than that, you may be the only one who can do exactly what needs to be done. There's something special about you that can't be duplicated or replaced. You fit the bill perfectly.

For that reason, more than any other, you need to keep naysayers and critics out of the loop.  These are people who failed at life after making a half-hearted attempt at success, if they ever tried at all.

Having suffered defeat, instead of learning from the experience and persisting to get what they wanted, they chose to quit, saying things "just got too hard" for them. (Most likely they were just too soft)

Their defeatist, fatalistic, "Debbie Downer" attitude due to lack of resolve will get in your way...if you let it.  Don't let them infect your determination with doubt, contaminate your dreams with unbelief, or distract you from your mission with petty jealousy.

Keep them around long enough, and they'll have you doubting your goals and dreams more than they do.

It's best that you find people who will offer life giving oxygen to your dreams, people who believe in you and your potential. Avoid those who wish to suffocate your ambitions like the plague. They aren't worth having around...or hanging around.

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." - Mark Twain

Find people you can trust with the dreams in your heart. They won't betray your goals or your plans, but will do all they can to help you achieve your mission.

This is not about being "anti-social," whatever that means. This is about finding people to attach yourself to, people who support and encourage your success, people who let you to do the same for them. 

If there are "Negative Nellies" in your life that you can't eliminate completely, then limit your exposure to their influence as much as possible. Never let their view of life rule over your own.

"Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." - Les Brown  

The keys to the vehicle of your life are in your hands, not theirs. Responsibility for the direction in which your vehicle travels the road of life rests with you, not with them.

So don't settle for the well worn path of indifference. Defy the ones who gave up on life, yet believe they are somehow "entitled" to tell you how to live your life when they're too scared to live their own.

Birds of like feather really do flock together. Do you want to soar with eagles? Stop hanging with turkeys! Welcome those that will help you soar to greater heights. Let go of the ones that won't. 

No one has the right to mock you or ridicule your dreams. Your potential is too great to squander and your time is too valuable to waste on people who cannot see or appreciate your uniqueness.

Never let anybody that doesn't recognize your value tell you what you can't do. Don't make the mistake of letting negative people with have nothing to live for take away from you everything that makes your life worthwhile.

No matter how long you live, life is too short to let anyone rain on your parade. You can't take everyone with you because they don't want to go, and they don't want you to go, either. They want to hold you back.  

Take aim at your goal and go confidently in the direction your dreams take you. To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, your destiny awaits you...so get on your way!

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and blaze a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until next time, remember...

Keep it simple...  See ya!