Why Should I Wanna Be Just Like You?

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose]." - Proverbs 27:17 AMP

"If people don't like you, they won't buy from you. A person could love your product, but DISLIKE you and will pass on the product." - Brian Tracy

PEER PRESSURE: the influence that a peer group, observers, or individuals exert that encourage others to change their attitudes, values, or behaviors to conform to group norms

I recently attended a graduation ceremony for one of my nephews. He is moving up from elementary school to middle school. Like many other commencement exercises, it was a happy occasion where the achievements of the graduates were recognized and celebrated. Not surprisingly, mixed in with all the congratulatory wishes were words of wisdom, as well as caution, to help the students prepare for the next level of their schooling. Among them four words stood out above the rest:

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY

Having the right friends, the students were told, would help make their middle school years as enjoyable as they could be successful. I did agree with what the kids were told, I thought it was great advice. I just wish they had more time to explain what that really means. I would also say that advice wasn't just for the kids. I know many grown-ups who failed to learn that lesson and suffered painful consequences as a result. If I ever have a chance to tell anyone about the importance of choosing good friends, building solid relationships, and avoiding the pitfalls of negative peer pressure, I would keep it as simple as possible. Use this as a measuring stick:

Are there people who want to be friends with you if you agree to walk like them, talk like them, think like them, copy everything about them...until you BECOME them? 

Do these people expect you to do whatever they tell you, and say only what they want to hear? 

Do they expect you to change who you are to please them because expressing your true self bothers them, or makes them uncomfortable around you?

If you answer YES to any of the above questions, your decision is not at all complicated...

AVOID THEM LIKE THE PLAGUE

Yes, I said to avoid them. They're no good for you; they'll only drag you down. It doesn't matter how long you've known them, or how much they say they like you as a person. Nobody who accepts you as you are would ever ask you to change who you are to make them like you even more, or at all. If they don't like you now they won't like you later, no matter how much you change who you are for them. They're not the kind of people you want in your life, and you don't need them, either. You want people in your life who will inspire you to be your best self, not people who require you to make yourself a monument to their mediocrity. It is not now, nor will it ever be, your job to turn yourself into a second-rate version of someone else.  Don't fall for the siren song of people who try to tantalize you with their tired rant about how much you need to be more like them in order to be happy and successful. That's a load of crap. Don't mean to offend, but sometimes you gotta call a spade a spade.  As the saying goes, it's better to be hurt by the truth than to be comforted by a lie.

Just to be clear, there's nothing wrong with following the example of someone who inspires you to achieve your own great exploits. That's a decision you make for yourself and you can reap some rich rewards. This is true in any field of endeavor you can name, whether athletics, academics, sciences, arts, and humanities or any other discipline that comes to mind. To inspire someone to follow your example is awesome and humbling. To require someone to copy your example is manipulative, selfish, conceited. No good can come from making carbon copies; everyone deserves to be an original.

You are the gatekeeper of your life. Bring people into your life that raise you up, that lets you stand on their shoulders. Reject and refuse the ones that try to pull you off course and lead you astray, dragging you down with them into the depths of doom, gloom, and despair.  As you are inspired you will in turn inspire others. And who knows? Maybe one day when you least expect it, someone will approach you, inspired by the example you set, to confess that they...

...Wanna learn to be...
...Like someone...
...Like you...

And maybe one day, they'll say this about you:

That's all for now, gotta run...

Until we meet again, remember...

Keep it simple.... See ya!