Walk In Their Shoes, and Let Them Walk In Yours

"You can have everything in life you want if you just help other people get what they want." - Zig Ziglar

WANT: something that is desired
NEED: necessary duty; something one is bound to do 

My children taught me some very interesting lessons when they were little. I found out I never had trouble getting them to do what I asked them to do, as long as I talked with them about what they wanted first. Once I did that, getting their cooperation was much easier. I found out they wanted to do something fun, so I told them all they had to do to get what they wanted was take care of their responsibilities first, whether it was yard work, their schoolwork, housework, or anything else they needed to do.  Instead of treating their duties like chores, I made a game of it, knowing how much my kids like competition. I told them the winner could get to choose what kind of fun they wanted to have: video games, movies, mini golf, bowling, bookstore, a trip to the mall, or anything else we could think of that was fun for them (and for me too, I admit it). Now I'm not saying they did everything they were supposed to do in a flash (they were little kids, after all...telling them to hurry through a task and not make any mistakes is unrealistic) but they did what they were asked to do with enthusiasm, knowing there was an incentive waiting for them, something that interested them. With a reward in front of them, doing the needed work wasn't such a big deal.

Dealing with my children reminds me of many business opportunity meetings I attended in the past. Each presentation I saw had one thing in common: speakers shared with the audience some goal or dream they wanted to achieve in their lives: getting out of debt, spending more with their families, having extra money to save or invest, or improving their lifestyle. They told their story, how they were stuck in a rut, doing what they needed to do, having all kinds of pressure on their shoulders, feeling trapped, desperately seeking a way out, when they learned about an opportunity that changed their lives. That is what I wanted to know, that someone else went through the same thing I was experiencing, found a way out of their trouble, and was willing to help find my way out, too. 

Needs were never mentioned; people already know what they need; it's what they want that's most important to them: they want more money, and they want more time. Every day they wear themselves out, working jobs they don't like, chasing money in the hope that they can get enough of it to meet their needs and satisfy their wants, only to fail, over and over again. There's just too much month at the end of their money. Every month. They understood people are tired of running on treadmills; they don't want more of the same. People are tired of the endless cycle of frustration. They want something different in their lives.  They want a change. 

That's why they spoke about dreams and goals. They talked about the possibility of helping others find ways to achieve their dreams and goals. They also realize that what Zig Ziglar said is true, that people really don't care what you know until they know that you care. They want to know that you can relate to them, that you know what it's like to walk in their shoes, and that you care enough to show them how to flip the script on their lives for the better. 

So if your goal is to connect with people, I suggest you let them know from the start that you know how they feel because you've stood where they now stand. Tell them your story, tell them how you walked a few miles in their shoes, that you know what it feels like to have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Tell them how you what you did to change your life, and show them you can help them change theirs. Ask them about their goals and dreams. They may need to dust their dreams off so they can remember what it feels like to dream, so offer them a dust rag and some polish, if you have to.

Show them you remember what it was like to walk in their shoes. If you can do that, and you let them know you can help them make the changes they want to make in their lives, it's more than likely they'll be willing to learn what it's like to walk in yours. 

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves." - James M. Barrie

"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up." - John Andrew Holmes

"Don't look to become a person of success, look instead to become a person of value." - Albert Einstein

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple...  See ya!