"For the Scripture says, you shall not muzzle an ox when it is treading out the grain, and again, the laborer is worthy of his hire." - I Timothy 5:18 AMP
I remember reading a children's story called Henny Penny many years ago. It teaches a valuable lesson we can all learn.
As the story goes, Henny Penny wanted to plant some wheat so she could bake bread. She asked her friends to help her. They refused. Her request (Who will help me..?) was always met with the same answer:
Not I! Not I! Not I!
To which she said, Fine, I'll do it myself, which she did...every step of the way:
Buying the seed...
Tilling the ground...
Planting the seed...
Watering the seed...
Digging up the weeds...
Cultivating and harvesting the crop...
Grinding the wheat into flour...
Taking the flour home to bake the bread...
Every step of the way, she asked the same question (Who will help me..?) and got the same answer (Not I! Not I! Not I!)...
...that is until the bread was baked, and she took it out of the oven to cool. One last time she asked (don't know why she did, but that's how the story goes...)
Who will help me eat the bread..?
All of a sudden, everybody changed their tune...
I will..! I will..! I will..!
But Henny Penny didn't change HER tune!
She said, No! I will do it myself... and that's what she did.
This seems like nothing more than a cute bedtime story, but there's more to it than that. It makes a valid point. This story demonstrates human nature, most specifically what I like to call H.P.S. or Henny Penny Syndrome. Let me explain.
Though there are exceptions, anytime someone rolls up their sleeves to get something done, it is next to impossible to find friends, family, or anyone in your immediate circle to help.
Everyone runs for the hills, so you wind up doing much of the heavy lifting on your own. If that wasn't already bad enough, the ones who won't support you will also do their best to discourage you, drag you off course, find a way to make you give up.
When you do something different it upsets the apple cart, so to speak, and anything that disturbs their peace of mind must be stopped.
But let them find out you're starting to enjoy some success, and that your hard work is being recognized as something special, and what do you suppose will happen..?
They'll come running out of the woodwork so they can join you in the spotlight, that's what!
"I'm so proud of you!"
"I knew you could do it!"
"I always had your back...you know that, right?"
And who could forget the classic line they always use to steal your thunder...
"Now I KNOW you won't forget all the people that helped you get where you are today..."
This is the Henny Penny Syndrome in full effect...
When the time comes to work, nobody wants to get in the flow...
But when the time comes for the rewards, everybody wants to bask in your glow...
But as I said before, it's human nature. That's what people do.
With all this being said, there is something you should know. This is how you overcome H.P.S. :
Just like Henny Penny, you get to decide who joins you when its time to celebrate your success. You get to choose who shares in your moment of triumph. Nobody gets to walk with you in the sunshine, or rain on your parade just because they say so.
Your success is your reward for all your hard work. Remember that. You earned the applause and the accolades; nobody can take them away.
Nobody has the right to make you feel guilty for working when they decided not to, or for the triumph you achieved without them. You didn't succeed at their expense, and you're celebrating at their expense either.
If you gave them a chance to work beside you and they turned it down, then you have no reason to feel ashamed about celebrating any success you achieved for the work you did. They had the same opportunity to succeed that you had, and passed it by. That's their problem, not yours.
So keep this in mind the next time you're confronted with a bunch of Not I's (or Not Interested's) who won't work with you, leaving you on your own to figure things out. Don't be surprised when they "suddenly" transform into I will's that pretend they helped you get your hands on the prize you sought once they see you got the ball rolling without them.
When that happens, you can smile in the midst of all that pretense and say in your heart,
No, I did it myself...
...because that's just what you did.
That's all for now, gotta run.
Until next time...
Keep it simple... See ya!
Monday, July 27, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Every "Good for Nothing" Is Good At Something
"Close friends and relatives, while not meaning to do so, often handicap one through 'opinions' and sometimes through ridicule, which is meant to be humorous. Thousands of men and women carry inferiority complexes with them all through life, because some well-meaning, but ignorant person destroyed their confidence through 'opinions' or ridicule." - Napoleon Hill
In Chapter 10 of his book Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn, entitled "Bad Experiences: The Perspective for Learning," John C. Maxwell tells the story of Giuseppe who lived in California. He was a proud man who earned his living as a fisherman, working hard to support his family. He believed his profession was honest and honorable and assumed his sons would follow in his footsteps. Fishing was not only Giuseppe's livelihood, but it was also in his blood. Fishing was his passion.
As expected, Giuseppe's sons followed in his footsteps and became fishermen too. All except one, that is. Little Giuseppe, named after his father, did not share that passion. He didn't enjoy fishing at all; the smell of fish made him sick. This greatly disappointed the father, who openly expressed his feelings about the son's lack of interest in fishing. He often ridiculed his son, calling him "good for nothing Joe," as the father believed anything the son did that had nothing to do with fishing was a waste of time.
Giuseppe offered to work in his father's office, repair the nets, anything he could do to prove himself worthy of his father's favor, but it was no use. Shining shoes and delivering newspapers to bring in money wasn't good enough for the elder Giuseppe either, despite the fact that Joe's pay helped the family make ends meet. Since it didn't involve fishing, the father saw no value in it.
It seemed all Joe's hard work would never be recognized or respected by his father.
As it turns out, Giuseppe's "good for nothing" son really was good at something. Where the father saw Joe as lazy and lackadaisical, others saw a sense of calm, focus, and seemingly effortless grace. They also saw a young man who took pride in his profession, who worked just as hard as his father did. Joe was a fierce competitor who did everything possible to excel. He had a burning desire to succeed, to win.
As a young man Joe moved east to pursue his profession. You see, Joe hated fishing...but he loved baseball. And while his father saw no value in anything Joe did outside of fishing, millions of baseball fans saw nothing wrong with the way Joe played. They called him Joltin' Joe, because he played so well, every inning of every game, at a steady, consistent level of dependability and excellence. When asked late in his career why he played with such intensity despite being injured he simply replied, "Because somebody out there may have never seen me play before."
Joe earned the respect of fans, teammates, even opponents. Ask any fan of the New York Yankees and they'll tell you about Joe DiMaggio, the kid from San Francisco whose father once called him "good for nothing," the man who became not only a baseball star, but a legend.
Just like Joe, all of us have some unique gift, talent, special ability that is as natural to us as breathing. But don't think for a moment that the people in your midst, whether friends or loved ones, will always recognize the talents you possess, or even support the pursuit of your goals and dreams as you seek to develop those talents.
There may be someone in your life who thinks you're "good for nothing." But you must look deep within your heart to find out just what your talent is. That is what makes you stand out, what makes you most unique. While it may be true that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" (Oliver Platt), not everyone can recognize beauty when they see it, much less appreciate it.
It can be disappointing, even discouraging when the people closest to you fail to see your worth, but that doesn't mean you don't have any. Value is like sunshine on a cloudy day...just because you can't easily see it doesn't mean it isn't there. Here's what you need to do:
First, you must determine that you will find that value for yourself. Look inside, find out what makes you special, and embrace it. Don't look for approval from the outside, you won't get it. Approve first of yourself and your uniqueness, only then can you let others see it for themselves.
Second, and most important, ignore the criticism of people who don't recognize your uniqueness, or your value. Never let anyone's disapproval or ridicule shut you down, cause you to give up on yourself or fail to express your special kind of greatness. You have something to contribute to this world, some great service to perform. There is a void in this life that only you can fulfill.
If you can do these two things, you will find yourself gaining a very special benefit, something you probably thought you'd never earn:
the respect of the people who once put you down. You can prove all the doubters wrong who laughed at you, made fun of you, tried to humiliate and embarrass you. One way or another, your critics will have to admit how much they admire you for remaining true to yourself, and for chasing your dreams.
Just so you know, the day did arrive when Giuseppe opened his eyes and saw his once "good for nothing" son had become a special man whose value others got to know and appreciate. The same can happen for you if you remain true to who you are rather than the one others think you should be.
Every "good for nothing" can discover he is good for something so long as he follows Shakespeare's timeless advice:
"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not be false then to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"
- Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78-82
That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time, remember:
Keep it simple... See ya!
In Chapter 10 of his book Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn, entitled "Bad Experiences: The Perspective for Learning," John C. Maxwell tells the story of Giuseppe who lived in California. He was a proud man who earned his living as a fisherman, working hard to support his family. He believed his profession was honest and honorable and assumed his sons would follow in his footsteps. Fishing was not only Giuseppe's livelihood, but it was also in his blood. Fishing was his passion.
As expected, Giuseppe's sons followed in his footsteps and became fishermen too. All except one, that is. Little Giuseppe, named after his father, did not share that passion. He didn't enjoy fishing at all; the smell of fish made him sick. This greatly disappointed the father, who openly expressed his feelings about the son's lack of interest in fishing. He often ridiculed his son, calling him "good for nothing Joe," as the father believed anything the son did that had nothing to do with fishing was a waste of time.
Giuseppe offered to work in his father's office, repair the nets, anything he could do to prove himself worthy of his father's favor, but it was no use. Shining shoes and delivering newspapers to bring in money wasn't good enough for the elder Giuseppe either, despite the fact that Joe's pay helped the family make ends meet. Since it didn't involve fishing, the father saw no value in it.
It seemed all Joe's hard work would never be recognized or respected by his father.
As it turns out, Giuseppe's "good for nothing" son really was good at something. Where the father saw Joe as lazy and lackadaisical, others saw a sense of calm, focus, and seemingly effortless grace. They also saw a young man who took pride in his profession, who worked just as hard as his father did. Joe was a fierce competitor who did everything possible to excel. He had a burning desire to succeed, to win.
As a young man Joe moved east to pursue his profession. You see, Joe hated fishing...but he loved baseball. And while his father saw no value in anything Joe did outside of fishing, millions of baseball fans saw nothing wrong with the way Joe played. They called him Joltin' Joe, because he played so well, every inning of every game, at a steady, consistent level of dependability and excellence. When asked late in his career why he played with such intensity despite being injured he simply replied, "Because somebody out there may have never seen me play before."
Joe earned the respect of fans, teammates, even opponents. Ask any fan of the New York Yankees and they'll tell you about Joe DiMaggio, the kid from San Francisco whose father once called him "good for nothing," the man who became not only a baseball star, but a legend.
Just like Joe, all of us have some unique gift, talent, special ability that is as natural to us as breathing. But don't think for a moment that the people in your midst, whether friends or loved ones, will always recognize the talents you possess, or even support the pursuit of your goals and dreams as you seek to develop those talents.
There may be someone in your life who thinks you're "good for nothing." But you must look deep within your heart to find out just what your talent is. That is what makes you stand out, what makes you most unique. While it may be true that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" (Oliver Platt), not everyone can recognize beauty when they see it, much less appreciate it.
It can be disappointing, even discouraging when the people closest to you fail to see your worth, but that doesn't mean you don't have any. Value is like sunshine on a cloudy day...just because you can't easily see it doesn't mean it isn't there. Here's what you need to do:
First, you must determine that you will find that value for yourself. Look inside, find out what makes you special, and embrace it. Don't look for approval from the outside, you won't get it. Approve first of yourself and your uniqueness, only then can you let others see it for themselves.
Second, and most important, ignore the criticism of people who don't recognize your uniqueness, or your value. Never let anyone's disapproval or ridicule shut you down, cause you to give up on yourself or fail to express your special kind of greatness. You have something to contribute to this world, some great service to perform. There is a void in this life that only you can fulfill.
If you can do these two things, you will find yourself gaining a very special benefit, something you probably thought you'd never earn:
the respect of the people who once put you down. You can prove all the doubters wrong who laughed at you, made fun of you, tried to humiliate and embarrass you. One way or another, your critics will have to admit how much they admire you for remaining true to yourself, and for chasing your dreams.
Just so you know, the day did arrive when Giuseppe opened his eyes and saw his once "good for nothing" son had become a special man whose value others got to know and appreciate. The same can happen for you if you remain true to who you are rather than the one others think you should be.
Every "good for nothing" can discover he is good for something so long as he follows Shakespeare's timeless advice:
"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not be false then to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"
- Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78-82
That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time, remember:
Keep it simple... See ya!
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
What Matters Is The Company You Keep...And That Keeps YOU
Like a lot of people, I enjoy eating out from time to time. I might go to a fast food restaurant, a diner, or something more upscale. I may even go to a buffet restaurant, which I know some people don't care for, but to each his own, right..?
Anyway, I have a simple rule for going out to eat: there is no "one size fits all" mentality when it comes to such places. Just because I went to a Burger King or McDonald's or Subway on a particular day doesn't mean I'll visit every one I see. The name on the door may be the same, but each location is different. Everyone is not worthy of my time, my attention... or my money. For instance:
Several months ago I went to a particular Dunkin Donuts shop in town. Three or four of them are in the area, and I went to the one I thought was the most convenient because it was the closest...or so I thought.
Big mistake! Why?
Because the folks who worked there did everything they could to make my visit a miserable one. How you ask? Well, it had to do with their WiFi service. Let me explain...
I noticed the shop had Free WiFi, so I figured I'd use it while I was there. I was told I'd have to buy something to use their WiFi. No big deal I thought, so I bought a bagel and some iced tea and went back to my work. Then things got worse.
The staff there told me I was staying in their store too long and it was time for me to leave. I was just minding my business, not bothering anyone. I even showed them what I was working on but they didn't care. They said I had to go. And not very politely, I might add. They spoke to me like I was a criminal. Very rude.
(I later found out people went there to view some offensive videos on the shop's WiFi, but that had nothing to do with me).
Things got so bad that I complained about it to the company, but all I got in response was an email from the franchise owner who tried (unsuccessfully, mind you) to explain his staff's actions, saying they had the right (so-called) to "encourage" me to vacate the premises. (A letter I still have, by the way)
After reading his email, I decided that replying was a waste of time. So I took my business (and my money) elsewhere. I chose other Dunkin Donuts' shops in the area to visit and I'm so glad I did. My experience at the other shops was much better; nobody bothered me at the other locations, no matter how long I stayed. (and yes, I used their WiFi, too)
The people at the first store never have to worry about seeing me again. Due to their lack of people skills (and goodwill), they lost not only my business but also lost the business of friends and family too...because you KNOW I steered them clear of that place, of course. (Good news travels fast, bad news much faster)
The negative experience I had at that Dunkin Donuts shop did not discourage me from doing business with any other Dunkin Donuts shops in the area. It just kept me from doing business with THEM. And since I had another place to go where I could enjoy Dunkin's products, it was that shop's loss and my gain.
That experience also taught me something else very important, which I want to share with you. And that is this:
You are not entitled to anybody's time or resources. If they decide to invest anything with you it is a privilege, not a right. You should be grateful that they saw any value in you at all, and be quick to express that gratitude with an attitude of humility. It wouldn't hurt for you to say Thank you to them. I remember, my mother telling me back in the day you should always say thanks to someone who does something nice for you. That lesson still applies, even with the passing of time.
That being said, you should also remember this:
People do business with people, not companies. People establish relationships with people they know, like and trust. This is just as true of business relationships as it is of personal ones. The name on the door doesn't mean a thing if the people inside turn customers away with bad attitudes, poor service, or both.
Paraphrasing the late great Duke Ellington, your name don't mean a thing if you got nothing good to bring... Get my meaning?
So long story short, if you want to build a relationship, a business, a team, or anything of significance, you would do well to treat people who come across your path as the valuable treasures they are. Don't take them for granted, not even for a second.
Because whether you realize it or not, those people can make your success...or break it. The company that keeps you is just as important as the company you keep.
That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time...keep it simple.
See ya!
Anyway, I have a simple rule for going out to eat: there is no "one size fits all" mentality when it comes to such places. Just because I went to a Burger King or McDonald's or Subway on a particular day doesn't mean I'll visit every one I see. The name on the door may be the same, but each location is different. Everyone is not worthy of my time, my attention... or my money. For instance:
Several months ago I went to a particular Dunkin Donuts shop in town. Three or four of them are in the area, and I went to the one I thought was the most convenient because it was the closest...or so I thought.
Big mistake! Why?
Because the folks who worked there did everything they could to make my visit a miserable one. How you ask? Well, it had to do with their WiFi service. Let me explain...
I noticed the shop had Free WiFi, so I figured I'd use it while I was there. I was told I'd have to buy something to use their WiFi. No big deal I thought, so I bought a bagel and some iced tea and went back to my work. Then things got worse.
The staff there told me I was staying in their store too long and it was time for me to leave. I was just minding my business, not bothering anyone. I even showed them what I was working on but they didn't care. They said I had to go. And not very politely, I might add. They spoke to me like I was a criminal. Very rude.
(I later found out people went there to view some offensive videos on the shop's WiFi, but that had nothing to do with me).
Things got so bad that I complained about it to the company, but all I got in response was an email from the franchise owner who tried (unsuccessfully, mind you) to explain his staff's actions, saying they had the right (so-called) to "encourage" me to vacate the premises. (A letter I still have, by the way)
After reading his email, I decided that replying was a waste of time. So I took my business (and my money) elsewhere. I chose other Dunkin Donuts' shops in the area to visit and I'm so glad I did. My experience at the other shops was much better; nobody bothered me at the other locations, no matter how long I stayed. (and yes, I used their WiFi, too)
The people at the first store never have to worry about seeing me again. Due to their lack of people skills (and goodwill), they lost not only my business but also lost the business of friends and family too...because you KNOW I steered them clear of that place, of course. (Good news travels fast, bad news much faster)
The negative experience I had at that Dunkin Donuts shop did not discourage me from doing business with any other Dunkin Donuts shops in the area. It just kept me from doing business with THEM. And since I had another place to go where I could enjoy Dunkin's products, it was that shop's loss and my gain.
That experience also taught me something else very important, which I want to share with you. And that is this:
You are not entitled to anybody's time or resources. If they decide to invest anything with you it is a privilege, not a right. You should be grateful that they saw any value in you at all, and be quick to express that gratitude with an attitude of humility. It wouldn't hurt for you to say Thank you to them. I remember, my mother telling me back in the day you should always say thanks to someone who does something nice for you. That lesson still applies, even with the passing of time.
That being said, you should also remember this:
People do business with people, not companies. People establish relationships with people they know, like and trust. This is just as true of business relationships as it is of personal ones. The name on the door doesn't mean a thing if the people inside turn customers away with bad attitudes, poor service, or both.
Paraphrasing the late great Duke Ellington, your name don't mean a thing if you got nothing good to bring... Get my meaning?
So long story short, if you want to build a relationship, a business, a team, or anything of significance, you would do well to treat people who come across your path as the valuable treasures they are. Don't take them for granted, not even for a second.
Because whether you realize it or not, those people can make your success...or break it. The company that keeps you is just as important as the company you keep.
That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time...keep it simple.
See ya!
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