Brother Matthias and A Boy Named George

Brother Matthias was a mountain of a man.  Standing 6 feet, 6 inches tall and weighing 250 pounds, he was every bit a giant, an imposing figure. But that didn't scare a little boy named George in the least. He was seven years old, the new kid in school, and he looked at Brother Matthias in awe. To George, the big man seemed like Goliath. He tried his best to copy Brother Matthias' every move, especially when the man demonstrated his considerable strength and skill in the Big Yard, the playing field at St. Mary's Industrial School for Boys in Baltimore. Of all the things George saw Brother Matthias do, what impressed him the most was watching a ball take flight from the big man's bat.  Years later George described the first time he saw such an awesome display of raw power, and the impact it had on the rest of his life:

"I think I was born as a hitter the first day I ever saw him hit a baseball. I can remember it as if it were yesterday. It was during the summer of 1902, my first year in St. Mary's. Brother Matthias would stand at the end of the yard, a finger mitt on his left hand and a bat in his right, toss the ball up with his left hand and give it a terrific belt with the bat he held in his right hand. When he felt like it he could hit it a little harder and make the ball clear the fence in center field. It would have to carry at least 350 feet...I would just stand there and watch him, bug-eyed. I had never seen anything like that in my life, nor anyone who was even close to Brother Matthias when it came to manliness, kindness, and grace." **

Inspired by Brother Matthias' exploits, young George decided to give baseball a try, too. To his delight, he found that not only was he able to hit the ball, he could catch it, throw it, and run the bases, too. And the more he played, the more he liked playing. Brother Matthias saw George's budding interest in baseball, and set aside extra time to teach him the finer points of the game. George took to learning more about the game, as some would say, like a fish to water, doing his best to imitate everything Brother Matthias did:

"George copied his swing from the way Brother Matthias used to toss up the ball and hit it with a sweeping, uppercut motion; George learned to run the same way Brother Matthias ran, with small, pigeon-toed steps; George even tried to emulate the quiet humility with which Brother Matthias lived his life. And when George would fall short of that goal in the years to come, as he frequently did, it was always to Brother Matthias he would turn for help. Brother Matthias had faith in George at a time when few people did. And for George, Brother Matthias was quite simply 'the greatest man I've ever known.' "**

When young George left St. Mary's twelve years later, it was Brother Matthias who offered meaningful words of encouragement ("You'll make it, George."**), letting George know he believed that he would be successful. George took his words to heart and did make a success of himself, though most people who speak respectfully of him in the 100 years since the day he left St. Mary's know him by a name more familiar and immediately recognizable.  History calls him The Babe:

You see, had it not been for the presence of a gentle giant in a young boy's life, a man who watched, disciplined, demonstrated, and believed in young George at a time when he needed it most, the world might never have been introduced to the man called the Bambino, the Sultan of Swat, with the booming bat, bombastic voice, and larger than life personality that set the heart of many a child to soar and to dream of what could be possible.

I share this "feel good" story with a purpose, to let you know that in your life some little George (or maybe even Georgette) sees you as a Brother Matthias figure. Maybe you aren't skyscraper tall, and maybe you can't hit baseballs so high and so far that they seem to enter their own orbit, but you can make an impact in somebody's life. I'm not saying you need to be perfect, to be flawless. What I am saying is that in whatever station of life you find yourself, you can be an example to people around you. Whether you stand or fall, you can inspire others to great heights. Even when things don't work out like you planned, you can still stand tall in humility and grace, showing others that "...a setback is a setup for a comeback..." (Willie Jolley)

Somebody sees you, somebody hears you, somebody is looking at you to see if you can show them by your example that what they hope to achieve is possible. It is said that children live their lives according to to the expectations placed on them, whether up or down. Adults do the same thing. We all look for somebody to embrace us as we are, and to believe in what we can become. What you say and do can encourage others, or discourage them. You can inspire people to reach great heights, or frustrate them down to the depths of despair, based on the words you speak, the things you do.

Never take lightly the ability to make a difference in somebody's life. You don't know what others are going through, and you may not know what it means to somebody when you give them a kind word, a pat on the back, a hug, or any simple gesture that demonstrates how much you believe in them. That applies to all areas of your life, whether personal, or business life, or parenting, or any relationship of importance you may have.

So the next time you're tempted to believe that your life is one big STRIKEOUT, look around, because someone in your life thinks you're a HOME RUN going somewhere to happen, and they believe you can show them how to hit one, too.

That's all, folks...until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!

**taken from "Up Close: Babe Ruth, A Twentieth-Century Life," by Wilborn Hampton

Also look here for additional information: 

http://cooperstownersincanada.com/2010/07/17/the-greatest-man-that-babe-ruth-ever-knew-was-a-canadian/


A Setback is a Setup for a Comeback

Just Do The Right Thing Anyway

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies..." - Psalm 23:5 NKJV

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or how the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly...who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause...Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

One of my favorite superheroes back in the day was Spider Man; he's my son's absolute favorite now (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I guess...LOL). Anyway, I liked Spidey, and was glad to introduce the "wallcrawler" to my son, because of a very important life lesson he taught me, a lesson Spider Man learned the hard way. Due to neglect, a close relative Spider Man loved and admired was murdered by a criminal he failed to apprehend when he had the chance. He learned too late a most painful lesson:

With great power there must also always be great responsibility.

Spider Man carried that lesson with a heavy heart, fighting crime for the benefit of ungrateful people who did not appreciate his efforts. He was called a criminal, he was misunderstood and distrusted, his motives always questioned. He did the right thing anyway, helping people whenever and wherever he could, even those who didn't know his story. In the face of all the abuse he endured, but he did his best to use the great power he'd been given wisely and responsibly, for as long as he had it. Now as far as I know, none of us in real life spin webs, climb walls (though admittedly, we may drive people up a wall at times, but that's a topic for another time...smile), or swing between buildings thwarting evil, but that doesn't mean we don't run into our share of critics. As long as we walk this earth, there will be people who disagree with us and find fault with us for reasons known only to them. I heard a saying recently which rings true:

It matters not how sweet a peach you are, you will always be criticized by someone who doesn't like peaches. 

It's a fact of life, as sure as death, taxes, and the night that follows day: somebody, somewhere is going to not like something about you. It doesn't matter whether they have a valid reason or not, somebody will criticize you for just for being you. In fact, there are three days people will talk about you, for better or worse: the day you're born, the day you die, and every day in between. But the real issue isn't what they say, it's how you respond. Years ago a friend told me, It's not what they call you, it's what you answer to. If you know what they say is not true about you, don't identify with it. Period. Just keep a smile on your face and keep the line moving.  Criticism didn't stop Spider Man from doing what he knew to be right, and it doesn't have to stop you either. Criticism never built a life, a relationship, or a business, but it has torn plenty of them down. Nobody ever built a monument to a critic, but there are many buildings that were destroyed by critics.

So everybody doesn't agree with you...so what?  So everybody doesn't like you...so what? So everybody doesn't want to get to know you, go into business with you, have anything to do with you...so what? And so what if everybody doesn't understand what you do, or why you're doing it? It could be that there is nothing wrong with what you're doing, and that if anybody has a problem with the way you do things, then maybe what you're doing is not for them.  Did you ever think about that? There's a saying in the sports world among coaches which goes something like this:  If you spend too much time listening to the fans, before long you'll be sitting with them. If your critics are not going to help you, then by all means don't let them do anything to harm you.

You're not everybody's cup of tea, and everybody's not yours. Deal with it. Adjust. If a pizza parlor can live with the fact that everybody doesn't like pepperoni, and a burger stand can handle the fact that everybody doesn't like cheeseburgers, and an ice cream stand can adjust when they learn that some people would rather have frozen yogurt than ice cream, then it's okay for you to live with the knowledge that you're not everybody's flavor of the month. Do the best you can, the best you know how, with what you know best. And if some people criticize because they don't "get" you, just say:  "Some will, some won't...SO WHAT? NEXT!"

"You spend too much time worrying what other people think of you. A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of the sheep." - Tywin Lannister

Just like Spider Man, even when people don't understand, do the right thing. Even when people criticize, do the right thing. Even when people accuse you of selfish motives, do the right thing. Even when people try to make you look like someone you're not, someone you've never been and someone you'll never be, just keep doing the right thing. Whether it's your personal life or in business, keep doing the right thing, because for every step you take, each tongue that rises against you in condemnation will be proven wrong. When the smoke settles and the dust clears, you'll be at peace, safe in the knowledge that the softest pillow you can ever sleep on is a clear conscience.

"People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway."

- Found inscribed on wall of Mother Teresa's children's home, Calcutta, India

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple...See ya! 

P.S.  Criticism is just one type of adversity. Watch this video to learn how to handle all kinds of problems:   http://bit.ly/1m3HgNZ

Do You Attract, Do You Distract, Or Do You Repel?

"I just can't see myself doing what you do..."

Hearing those words or rejection was stinging enough, but what made it worse was the person who said them was the one responsible for introducing me to the business in the first place. They had the idea that we'd work together, then they backed out when they realized what the scope of the work would entail. Truth is, that person's idea of "work" was that I would get on board, do the bulk of the work, and they'd reap the lion's share of the reward. If you're familiar with the 80/20 principle, this may ring a familiar bell to you. (For those not familiar with 80/20, it simply means that 80 percent of the work is done by 20 percent of the people, though the truth these days shifts the numbers to more like 90/10, but I think you get the idea).

Instead of getting upset about the other person dropping the ball on me, I did some thinking instead. What was I doing that was turning this person off? Come to think of it, what do we all do that turns people on? That turns people off?  What do we do that gets people to say, I'd like to do what you do..., or I don't want to do what you do...?

I went back to my own childhood for some answers. When we were kids grownups would ask, What do you want to be when you grow up? I knew my answer without hesitation, didn't even have to think about it: I want to be a baseball player, I would always say. I saw grown men on television playing baseball and it looked like they were having fun, so I thought maybe I'd like to give it a try, too. Why not? For two to three hours every day they would swing a bat, hit, catch and throw a ball, run around bases, dive, slide, get as dirty as they wanted, and get cheered on by thousands of grownups who would encourage them to keep doing it. How cool is that? And the more fun they had doing it, the more fun people had watching them do it. Who wouldn't want to do something like that? It was fun, it was exciting, and it made a lot of people very happy. To a child, it's a no brainer. I liked what I saw, thought I could do it too, my dad always talked about how much fun he had when he play baseball. That inspired me try it out for myself. And you know what? I was able to play the game, and play it well. I even had grownups watch me play and teach me how to play the game even better. It was great!

So after that moment of reflection I decided to pull a "Michael J. Fox" and get back to the future. (sorry, couldn't resist) I looked at the people I'd spoken with over the years when attempting unsuccessfully to bring them on board with me in different business ventures I'd joined. Many of them offered lame excuses, most of which centered around lack of time (ex. I understand the concept, but I just don't have the time...I'm just not interested, etc.) At first I would get immediately defensive, blaming the all the people who rejected me, saying they don't know a good thing when they see it, they're lazy, unmotivated, no ambition, etc. (some people I knew would say they were "stupid"...I never went that far, because I thought it was juvenile to do so) After running into this roadblock numerous times I began to wonder if maybe the problem wasn't the people I approached, but the person who spoke to the people I approached, as in ME...yes, ME!!!  Maybe I was the problem here, and maybe I needed to find out what I was doing that wasn't working, so I could fix it.

Here's a quick personal example: at one time I was severely overweight to the point where my health and my life were at risk. On December 23, 2009 (my dad's birthday, of all days) I was told pointblank by a nurse at an Urgent Care facility, "Sir, you are a candidate for a STROKE..." Those words rang in my ears, because on that day I weighed 260 pounds, my blood pressure was 170/110, I was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall and 46 years of age. It was a miracle I didn't drop dead before I got there. Hearing those words, however, made me realize that if changes had to be made, I could not afford to wait for someone else to make them for me, because it was nobody else's fault that I got so badly out of shape and at risk for early death but my own. I had to do something because I was responsible for getting myself in such a state, which meant it was up to me to get myself out. Besides, I had two very good reasons to turn things around: my son and my daughter; they would not grow up with the memory of a deceased dad if I had anything to say about it. That was a little over four years ago, and as I approach my 51st birthday (on the 25th of this month) I am happy to say that I am in much better condition than I was in my 40's...or even my 30's for that matter. I've lost over 80 pounds and I have much more energy and focus that I did back then. But it would not have been possible if I wasn't willing to stop pointing fingers, take a hard look at what I was doing, find out what wasn't working, and take steps to turn things around.

Now having said all that, let's get back to the business side of things, specifically how things are working (or not working) in your business. You may be frustrated over your lack of results and are tempted to blame the people who rejected you for your failure to reach them effectively. I could just say that whenever you point a finger at someone else, at least three fingers are pointed back at you, but that wouldn't help you solve the problem you face. So let me make a different suggestion; take it for what it's worth, do with it what you will.

When you approach people, you may be thinking about your business, but they are not thinking of your business...they're thinking about YOU. And you know what else they're thinking? They're wondering if what you have to offer is worth considering, not because of the business itself, but because of YOU.  People don't join a company, they join YOU (or they don't join because of YOU...get the message?) They're asking two questions: Do I want to spend any of my precious time doing what this person is doing? and, Do I want to be associated with this person? If they are telling you (or showing you) that the answer is NO, find out if you are doing one of the following:

ATTRACT:  to draw by appeal to natural or excited interest, emotion or aesthetic sense: ENTICE (to attract someone especially by offering or showing something that is appealing, interesting, etc.)

DISTRACT: to take (attention) away from someone or something; DIVERT (to take the attention of someone away from something or someone); to stir up or confuse with conflicting emotions or motives

REPEL:  to drive away: DISCOURAGE (to deprive of courage or confidence; to make someone less determined, hopeful, or confident); to cause aversion (a strong feeling of not liking something); DISGUST (annoyance and anger that you feel toward something because it is not good, fair, appropriate, etc.)

Now you may look at these definitions and say to yourself, I really don't intend to distract or repel anyone from what I have to offer. I want them to be interested so they can make an intelligent decision. While what you say may be true, you don't intend to turn people off, it is still possible that you can drive people away despite your best intentions. To many people, perception is more important than reality. It doesn't matter what you say it is if they think it's something different. Long story short, find ways to make yourself more attractive to the people that you meet, and not just in a way that's pleasing to the eye. You can look good, you can smell good, but you can still turn people off the second you open your mouth. The gift within can belie the outer wrapping. What you say comes from your heart, and it is from one heart to another that people connect best with one another.  If you really want to attract people and not repel them, here are some thoughts from Jim Rohn, business philosopher**:

1. Be strong, not rude.
2. Be kind, not weak.
3. Be bold, not a bully.
4. Be humble, not timid.
5. Be proud, not arrogant.
6. Be fun, not foolish.
7. Be real...PERIOD.

If you can do these seven things, with genuine sincerity, you will find you can relate to more people on a heart to heart basis, and it is entirely possible that you will find people who are inspired to try their hand at what you do, just like I was inspired to try my hand at baseball when I was a boy. You don't attract who you want, you attract who you are. So if you're not attracting the people you want to have, you are not yet the person you want to be. Work on yourself first, then as you do more and more people will be attracted to the better person you are becoming. And maybe, just maybe, when you find the right people coming into your life you will hear them asking,

Can you show me how to do what you do...?

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!

**For more information on Jim Rohn's philosophy, click the link below:

http://bit.ly/1jwEoSw

If You're Gonna Be True, You Gotta Be YOU

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition." - Steve Jobs

It is said you cannot be an honest person if you tell a lie; no one will trust you. We see this in the story of the "Boy Who Cried Wolf." He wasted so much time fooling the townspeople into believing there was danger nearby when it wasn't there that when the danger finally did show up, no one trusted that he was telling the truth, and it cost all of them dearly, the boy included.

It is true that there is a breach of trust when telling lies to others. But what about the lies we tell ourselves? What about all the times we try to deny who we really are inside while attempting to make someone else happy? What about all the times we say what others want to hear while telling our own voice to be quiet? To remain silent? To just shut up and deal? What about all the times we try to convince ourselves that we will eventually "like" something for the sake of pleasing others when our hearts tell us what our minds refuse to admit: that we don't like it, we never liked it, and never will like it. ..? You cannot speak your voice while using someone else's words. You cannot be honest with yourself if you are speaking someone else's heart while denying your own. You cannot live very happily by saying what others want to hear all the time while denying the promptings within your own heart. It is a waste of your time, precious as it is, to struggle for the sake of living life on someone else's terms. What good is a life where you make others happy while creating your own misery? We are told that honesty is the best policy. Shouldn't that include honesty with yourself? Settling for less than what you want is a lie. As the saying goes, ask for what you want, or settle for what you get.

So long story short, if you want to be honest with everybody, start with yourself. And don't worry if there are people who disagree with you.  There are seven billion people on the planet. Not all of them will agree with you...but not all of them will disagree with you, either. You are not made for everybody, and everybody is not made for you, but that's okay. In the long run, it's better to be respected by people who know the real you than loved by people who don't.

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." - William Shakespeare

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss

"Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got." - Janis Joplin

That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!

The Biggest Mistake You Can Make

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

I heard a story years ago about a father, a son, and a mule called Self. The three of them were traveling, and along the way encountered people who were critical of everything they did: some didn't like seeing the father ride the mule while the son walked alongside, others disapproved of seeing the father walk while the son rode the mule. Every time they heard someone's criticism they changed positions in an effort to make their critics happy, until finally, in the midst of a last attempt to change places, the mule bolted, took off into a full gallop, and sped away before either the man or his son could catch up. They were left to travel the rest of the way without their mule to help them. Moral of the story: if you keep changing to please others, eventually you will lose your Self.

Now I admit to butchering the story a bit for the sake of time (I'm not sure I told it quite right, to be honest), but I believe there is a point to be made here. I see myself in this story as I read it. I have been guilty many times of doing exactly what the father and son did: I kept changing myself to please other people, to the benefit of no one in particular, and much to my own detriment. I settled for less in many areas: my health, my sanity, my identity, my dignity, my sense of purpose, my competence, my self-respect, and eventually my happiness. I tolerated things I shouldn't have tolerated for the sake of trying to become what other people thought I should be, the type of person I had no business aspiring to become, because deep down I knew it just wasn't me. I lost years of joy and peace of mind too, and for what? To get on the good side of people who really didn't care about me, people whose opinions of me as a person really didn't matter all that much in the grand scheme of things? Really...? REALLY..?? It was a mistake; I can't say it any plainer than that. I have made this mistake for many years, and I believe I'm not the only one who has done so. Some of you have made this mistake too.

Now to be clear, I'm not talking about people who willingly make sacrifices to benefit other people, or those who give of themselves voluntarily to improve the quality of life for themselves and their loved ones. Don't get it twisted. Sacrifices made in the short term to gain a greater long term benefit can indeed be valuable when they are made voluntarily, without manipulation or coercion involved. Service with a willing heart is always a good investment. I'm talking about something much different, something which causes you to lose yourself in the process in such a way that what you do doesn't benefit you are anyone else in the long run. I'm talking about COMPROMISE. Now some of you might balk at such a notion, because you believe compromise is a good thing, because concessions are made that can eventually be beneficial as it relates to what is known as "delayed gratification." That isn't the kind of compromise I'm talking about here, I'm referring to something altogether different. There's another definition of compromise that is not often discussed or acknowledged, which I'd like to point out:

COMPROMISE: a concession to something derogatory or prejudicial; a change that makes something worse and that is not done for a good reason  

(source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online www.merriam-webster.com)

This type of compromise compels people to abandon their identity and their sense of self-worth in a futile attempt to gain the joy in life and peace of mind that would be more readily available to them if they spent more time getting in tune with their genuine selves. A friend recently told me, To change for others is to lie to oneself. We spend too much time bending over backwards to do what others want to see and say what others want to hear, all at the expense of our own integrity. This causes many a sleepless night, followed by a struggle to look ourselves in the mirror the next day, a struggle not always caused by a lack of sleep. We fool ourselves into believing to be successful we must be more like "they" are and less like we are.

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not be false to any man." - William Shakespeare

I believe a big reason why we do this is because we confuse success with popularity. I remember reading the play Death of a Salesman in high school, and looking at the main character, Wily Loman, a salesman who had seen better days in his life (to be kind, they were few and far between), days which were well behind him. He had fallen short in many ways, but his biggest shortcoming to be sure was the stubborn notion he clung to with every fiber of his being, that success in life meant being "well liked," a belief that damaged not only his career, but his personal relationships as well, particularly those with his own family.

Just like Wily, we forfeit ourselves in this manner. Why? I believe it's because we somehow fear deep down inside that we're just not good enough to be seen by others as we truly are. We think we fall short, we don't measure up to everyone else's standards, we believe to measure up we have to become just like everybody else, a carbon copy. This is probably the cruelest punishment of all, because it is self-inflicted, the killing of oneself softly.  Truth is, you are better than you realize. Think about it, who's more qualified to be you...than YOU? Your unique gifts, talents, abilities, and yes, qualities, are capable of performing feats that others who try to walk in your shoes dare not think of imagining.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi 

To recap, giving yourself in service to others is good and noble. It is worthwhile, it is uplifting (to you as well as others) and it is fulfilling, so long as you do so voluntarily, your free will is not violated, and whatever you do is in tune with your purpose, your sense of worth and personal values. To forfeit your life in a vain attempt to get people to "like" you is not good. You are denying your true, genuine self in the fleeting hope that you will gain eventually what you've always wanted by doing things that run contrary to your nature. Success has more to do with purpose than popularity, because while purpose can fill your life with joy unspeakable until it flows over to every area of your life, popularity is like the sandy shore, coming and going, constantly shifting, a here today, gone tomorrow existence that can drain your hopes and dreams, steal your joy, rob your very life. You can go from the latest flavor of the month on everybody's tongue to "whatever happened to" status so fast it will make your head spin.

Stop lying to yourself. Stop cheating yourself. Stop forfeiting your life, giving your power away to people who don't know you, care about, appreciate or deserve the unique individual you were always meant to be. Dare to be yourself as you truly, genuinely are, right here...RIGHT NOW. Dare to serve others as the man or woman you truly are, fully in tune with your genuine self, and you never have to be concerned with trying to please everybody, or anybody, ever again.  And no matter what others have to say about you one way or the other, whether they agree with you or disagree with you, being true to yourself will fill your heart with an unspeakable joy and peace.  That's something nobody can take away.

Okay, that's all for now. Hope you enjoy, thanks for reading.  Until we meet again, remember folks:

Keep it simple....See ya!


Click the link below to learn what happy people do with their lives:

http://yhoo.it/1hlcpDW

Make It So

"He who observes the wind [and waits for all conditions to be favorable] will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap." - Ecclesiastes 11:4 AMP

Some people will never accomplish anything of significance in their lives because they're waiting to get all their ducks in a row, all their i's dotted, their t's crossed. They misunderstand the meaning of the word PERFECT, viewing it as a noun, a condition, a state of mind.  In truth, the word PERFECT is a verb, an active process. As Capt. Jean Luc Picard of Star Trek: The Next Generation would say to his crew whenever his crew was faced with a challenge that required decision action to produce a specific result, "MAKE IT SO."  They couldn't afford to sit around and wait for conditions to work themselves out until they became favorable, they had to take action to make sure they would get the results they wanted. And so do we all.

A mistake just as big as waiting for things to work themselves out is holding the belief that things would work out so much better for us if we were more like somebody else. If we were as smart as him, as attractive as her, as confident as this one, as poised and disciplined as committed and polished as that one, etc. Long story short, we fall into a trap any time we tell ourselves we need to be more like somebody else in order to be successful. If you believe this to be true, you are living a foolish fantasy. Everybody is talented and gifted in some way, but we're not all talented in the same way as everybody else. We are all born originals, the sad part is that too many of us settle for life as a second rate copy of somebody else, a person we were never meant to be.

And I'll tell you something else: if you think for even a second that people who are now seen as successful had an easy time getting there, you are only kidding yourself. Everyone has problems, challenges, struggles, a cross to bear, some kind of adversity to face, to overcome. When you see someone in the spotlight, standing in the winner's circle, all you see is someone holding the prize, a seemingly spotless finished product. What you do not see is the finishing process they had to go through to remove all those spots and blemishes. Oak trees don't look all that impressive or imposing when they start out; people who see their humble beginnings think they're nuts.  Diamonds don't amount to much in their early days either. They're just lumps of coal that withstood the pressure of their surroundings before being able to sparkle with the brilliance of a bright new morning star.

Long story short, whatever good will come from your life does not arrive on its own. You must resolve to become part of the process, to roll up your sleeves and put your hand to the plow, so to speak. Sweat equity costs the most at the start, but pays the greatest reward in the end. Back in the 80's there was a popular movie, Flashdance, whose main theme song, sung by Irene Cara, had lyrics that spoke volumes. The song was called What a Feeling, and one line in particular stands out. It very simply says: "Take your passion, and make it happen." No more profound words in that song were sung than these.

Indeed the race is not given to the swift or to the strong but rather to those who endure to the end, but in order to gain the prize you still must run across the finish line at the end of the course, however long it may take. For your dream to come true, it cannot start with others, it must start with you:

"Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect."  Zig Ziglar

"You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions. Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions." - Gary Ryan Blair

Do yourself a favor: if you really want conditions in your life to be ideal, to be favorable, heed a word to the wise courtesy of Captain Jean-Luc Picard:

MAKE IT SO...

That's all, y'all...

Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple...

See ya!

P.S.  Click the link below to learn how to make $20 online in the next 24 hours:


http://bit.ly/1kw9YSf

Don't Make Them Sorry They Met You

Back in the 1980's Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy starred in 48 Hours, a movie where a cop teamed up with a convict to catch a murderer. In an early scene shortly after their characters met, Nolte, the cop laid down the law on Murphy by telling him their partnership was hanging by a thread ("We're not partners, we're not brothers, we're not friends," the con was told right off the bat), and that if the guy they were after got away:  "...you'll be sorry you ever met me..."

The convict's reply was classic:   "I'm already sorry..."

The line got a lot of laughs in the theater because it was funny. But it does bring up a valid point. How many of us have run across people in our lives that we wished we'd never met? Better yet, how many of us have been the very people that others wished they never met? It's a tough pill to swallow, let me assure you. It's never easy to admit our own flaws, to "tell on ourselves," so to speak. But if we give ourselves an honest self-evaluation we can admit to being less than perfect more often than not.

It is said that there are two types of people who enter a room, one person walks in and says, "Here I am!" while the other person walks in the room and says, "There you are!" The one who has a knack for making others feel at ease around them is always welcome at gatherings, it seems, while the one who seeks to draw attention to themselves appears to set people in their midst on edge.  I used to wonder how this could be so, but after reflecting on it a bit I understand why it is true.  It has been said that the sweetest sound anyone can ever hear is the sound of their own name on someone else's lips. Everyone seeks recognition in some form. It is also said that the three needs greater than money in the lives of many are Recognition, Appreciation, and Praise. Once these three needs are met, money takes on more value in people's lives. I guess money could be compared to the icing and the other three needs to a cake, the icing may be sweet at first, but becomes less satisfying after a while without the rest of the cake's ingredients.

When you recognize others you let them know they have value in your eyes, and they eagerly face you with that "tell me more" look in their eyes, because after all, you're talking to them about their favorite subject: themselves, and they're so glad you happen to agree. How could they not in turn appreciate you when you've gone out of your way to appreciate them first? It's a no-brainer. And when it's time for you to part company, you've done so in such a way that you'll be welcome once more the next time they see you. As the saying goes, "leave them wanting more..."

So long story short, make them glad they met you, not sad. Put your best foot forward. Be enthusiastic in your greeting, pay attention to them first, and allow them to direct their attention to you. Be interested in them and let them become interested in you.  And when you do, they'll never be sorry they met you...they may wish they'd met you sooner.

That's all for now.  Until we meet again, remember...

Keep it simple....  See ya!


How to Win Friends & Influence People

Always Be Enthusiastic

PASSION: 
- a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something
- a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object or concept

ENTHUSIASM:
- strong excitement about something: a strong feeling of active interest in something you like or enjoy
- something causing of feeling of excitement and active interest
- strong excitement of feeling
- something inspiring zeal or fervor

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. Life is no 'brief candle' to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Robert Kiyosaki, author of the Rich Dad Poor Dad series and financial education expert says, "True passion attracts. If you have passion in your business, the right people will be attracted to your team."   I couldn't agree more. I believe this applies to one's entire life, not just in the business realm. Anything you are excited about, anything you feel a great sense of conviction about, anything you do with great energy and enthusiasm, is going to attract the attention of others, especially people who have a great interest in what you're doing and would like to follow your example.

In personal relationships, particularly those of a romantic nature, it is the one who makes himself or herself attractive that is most likely to get noticed.  And when I say attractive, I don't speak only of one's outward appearance or hygiene (but admit it folks, that does help). I'm referring to someone who lives life from the inside out, with a sense of joy in all they say and do. That type of energy is infectious, almost like a virus. In Frank Bettger's classic book, How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling, the author shares as his first and most important principle, "...act enthusiastic, and you will be enthusiastic." He shares a story in the first chapter of the book that demonstrates how acting enthusiastic when he really didn't feel like it made a big difference in his performance, and his results.

I read a quote not long ago which I agree with wholeheartedly. It said this: "People don't stop playing because they grow old. They grow old because they stop playing." When we lose the joy of living, the joy that can be found in doing something that brings pleasure to our life and to the lives of others, we can begin to feel there is no reason to live. Joy is strength, and sorrow is weakness. And it is true, nothing of any great significance happens in life until someone gets excited about something.  You'll eat it, sleep it, breathe it, walk it, talk it, live it. You won't be able to help it, because what you're excited about will dominate your thoughts and actions to such a degree that people will come and look your way just to see what all the fuss is about. Years ago someone told me this:

The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. The only difference between women and girls is the length of their pearls. 

Well over the years I've come to see things a bit differently. I've come to realize that over the years that what is most true is this: it is childlike joy that makes the girl and boy. Look in the sports world for proof of this. You want to see some excited people? Watch a game when a championship is on the line. It doesn't matter which sport you like, the principle is the same. Competitors on both sides giving their all, playing their particular sport at high octane levels, all for the chance to hold the ultimate prize when the final horn, bell, whistle sounds, or the last out has been made. As they celebrate the victory, they realize the price is worthy of the prize. And you know what else? Not only are the players excited, but the fans are too. Why? Because when you play your sport, and you play well, with a wholehearted sense of purpose, excellence, conviction, zeal, passion, fervor, whatever you call it, and you do so holding nothing back, you draw attention to what you're doing. You can't help doing so.

I have witnessed this two-fold in my life, starting on November 16, 1997, and again on September 7, 2003. Those are the days I met my children, my son and daughter. They truly are a joy to me, and they make me glad to be a dad. Every laugh and smile I shared with them is one I wouldn't trade for anything in this world. They are the reason I looked forward for such a long time to be a dad, and my belief that becoming a dad would be a worthwhile journey has been more than justified. I told my children to always be excited and enthusiastic, and I can say for sure that they not only listened, but they taught me a thing or two about how to live with joy, passion, and enthusiasm. It is easy to be around someone who is enthusiastic, full of joy, full of life. Not only will you want to be around them, but you will find that as you spend more time around and enthusiastic person you will reflect the joy they have in your own life. You can't help yourself, that kind of feeling is contagious.  The more you get, the more you want.

So let me say it plainly if you haven't already gotten the message: Frank Bettger says when you act with enthusiasm you will become enthusiastic. In life. In sports. In music. In love and romance. With your family. In business. You will draw people to you like bees to honey because they will be attracted by your joy and your energy. Your passion and conviction will weave a spell that captivates them. The more they see what you do, and see what you do in an excellent manner, the more they'll want to know about what you do. And when they know more about what you do, they may want to do it too. It's contagious, it spreads like wild fire...and best of all, it's FUN! People like fun people. That's the fact, Jack.  Be fun to be around, and more people will want to be around you...get the picture?

Live with enthusiasm. Live with passion. Live with purpose. Live with conviction. Be attractive, full of joy and laughter, zest, gusto, vim and vigor. Be a fun person to hang around. And who knows? Before long, with your new found (or rediscovered) zest for life, you could attract so many people to you that you become known as the "cold" that everyone wants to catch...

AHH...AHH...AHHHHHHHH........CHHOOOOOOOO......!!!!!!!

That's all for now, gotta run....until we meet again, remember folks:

Keep it simple.....

See ya!


Frank Bettger's How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling: A modern-day interpretation of a self-help classic (Infinite Success Series)

Take The Lead, Be Their Guide

I remember reading a story not long ago about a young mother who asked her children to take one of the calves into the barn. She was sure they could handle the task themselves, but she watched from the kitchen window to see how well they would do.  They did everything they could think of to get the calf to move: they put a rope around its neck, they pulled from the front, they pushed from the back, they took turns at the front and back, pushing and pulling, but nothing worked. They just couldn't get the calf to budge.

When Mom saw that her tired, frustrated kids were about to give up, she decided to help out. On her way outside she passed by the butter churn and dipped her fingers into the butter she had just churned that morning. Walking in front of the calf, she held her buttered fingers under its nose. The calf liked the scent and the sweet taste of the butter, so it stuck out its tongue and started licking her fingers. The mother walked slowly backward and the calf followed, still licking the butter from her fingers. Mom started backing up in the direction of the barn, but the calf didn't care. The only thing on its mind was the taste and the smell of the butter. So the mom kept going and the calf kept following, licking her fingers the whole time, until finally it had been led into the barn...and all because it had a taste for the sweet, creamy butter on Mom's fingers.

Simple story, but it makes a point: nobody will go where you want them to go, but if you willing and able to show them how to get where they want to go they will follow you anywhere. Now it might not take putting butter on your fingers to get someone to follow you, but maybe you can find something else that interests them, that attracts their attention, something in their life that they desperately want to change, and indicate to them that you are willing to help them make that change. Even if you don't know all the ins and outs about what they need to do, you can do one of two things:

You can point them to someone that does know how to take them where they want to go, or

You can learn the way and lead them yourself

Whichever you choose, the main point is that you take an active interest in what they want to accomplish. You take on their success as your own, and you make them a high priority. John C. Maxwell says, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." That is true, without question. Once you have established in people's hearts and minds that you do care about them, they do take a keen interest in what you know, or what you are willing to find out that can benefit their lives. Don't worry about being the expert that "knows all, tells all." The most road weary traveler stopping at a convenience store in need of directions is forever grateful that there is a road map for sale, even if the owner of the store doesn't know everything on the map, or even how to read the map themselves.  If you care enough to help them, they will be interested in whatever you have to say.

Again, don't try to be a know it all, just "knowing it some" can be effective. If you know one key piece of information that they don't already know which can help them get where they want to go, you are considered a valuable resource to them, one they don't want to lose. And the more you learn, the more you can help them.

So if you want to take the lead and be their guide:

Learn the way, then lead the way, and continue to learn the way as you go...that's all, y'all.

Gotta run. Talk with you again soon.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!

Do You Know The Way..?

Back in 1968 Dionne Warwick sang a Grammy winning tune, "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?" You can find it on YouTube, and unlike many of the songs I heard while growing up in the 60's, if you listen closely enough you can understand the words. It's a very simple song with a very simple request: she's asking for directions. Nothing more, nothing less. And if you listen closely she explains why she wants to get back to San Jose: she's looking for peace of mind that she wasn't able to find anywhere else, and she sings about people she met in other places who lost their way, and she wants to regain her bearings.

A lot of us are like that. We want to gain our footing, or regain it if somehow we were knocked off our feet by the unpredictable ups and downs of life, and if we can't find our way on our own, we look for someone to point the way. It's not much different from something I've encountered many times in my life over the years, and you've probably had it happen to you too. Every now and then when I'm out and about, someone will approach me and ask for directions. They want to know if I can help them get somewhere, or find out where something is located. Usually I get questions like this:

"Can you tell me how to get to...?" 

"Do you know where (fill in the blank) is...?"

"Do you know the best way to get to...?"

"Do you know how I can find...?"

These and similar questions I have heard over the years, but they all have one thing in common: they were asked by people seeking direction. I was able to help some of them out because I had some familiarity with the area they asked about. I wish I could have pointed the way to all of them, but unfortunately I couldn't, for one simple reason: I had never been where they wanted to go, so I couldn't point them in the right direction. Nor had I heard of the places they mentioned, so I wasn't able to give them an idea as to how they could get there.  If Dionne Warwick asked me if I knew the way to San Jose, I'd have to say no because I've never been there.

This is as true in life as it is in business. How can you tell someone how to get where you haven't been, or worse, where you're not willing to go yourself? I saw a caption recently that was most profound. It spoke of, and demonstrated the difference between Management and Leadership. The Manager sat on a throne, looking down at his subordinates, pointed the way and said, "Go!" The Leader, in contrast, got off the throne, walked down among his subordinates, carried the same load they were carrying, and said, "LET'S Go!"  A small gesture but it made a huge difference in my mind. It reminded me of a saying I heard as a child (but never agreed with, even to this day): "Do as I say, not as I do..." No offense, but to me that is known as the "Hypocrite's National Anthem".  Why, you ask? Because I am not the least bit interested in following someone who has no desire or interest in going where I want to go, nor an inclination to help me find my way.

If you're reading this, and you want to be someone who points the way to others but you don't yet know the way yourself, don't lose heart. It is perfectly okay to say to someone, "I don't yet know the way, but I am willing to find out how to get where I want to go. Would you like to go, too?" It's not necessarily a matter of the blind leading the blind, provided you are wise enough to seek out someone who knows the way better than you do, so you can receive direction that you can pass on to others. Are you willing to humble enough, teachable enough, and coachable enough to do something like that? That is the question you must answer before you can move forward. It is often said the best leaders start out as the best followers. You cannot lead if you're not willing to follow.  And direction is the one thing you will not be able to give if you are not willing to receive.  Now, put that in your pipe and smoke it!

So today's lesson is merely this:  Learn the way, then lead the way. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

That's all for now, gotta run. Until we meet again, remember folks:

Keep it simple...See ya!

Make Your Life a Constant Attraction

I won't date myself too much, but I do recall a time, before the advent of on-demand films, DVDs, VCRs, and (dare I say it....?) places like Blockbuster Video (!!!) you could plunk down a few dollars and go see a movie in a theater on the big screen, what was called the "silver screen" way back in the day. (yes, that was before my time...I'm not THAT old). I point this out because there's a portion of the program that flashed across the screen before the main feature would be presented. Do you remember what it was called? Nowadays they may something like, "Coming Soon to a Theater Near You," but back in the day it was shortened to two simple words:

COMING ATTRACTIONS

As I recall, the soon coming features would also be shown on the marquis outside the building, or on a display not far away from the movie house. Previews of the upcoming features would be shown, lasting about five to ten minutes before the main feature would be aired. Whether you realize it or not, this was a clever way to let movie patrons know they'd have a good reason to come back to the theater, to see another movie. In plain English, it was the theater's way to...ATTRACT ATTENTION to their business without saying so directly.

And did it work...?  ABSOLUTELY...!!!

It seemed like every few weeks or months there would be reports a record breaking opening night sales at the box office. In fact, there was so much interested drummed up for certain features, people would camp out overnight for hours at a time waiting in line for the ticket windows to open so they could be sure to get themselves a ticket or two (or more) to see their favorite film on opening night.

Here's the question I have for you:

Do people flock to the movies for the concessions, for the atmosphere, for the chance to sit in a dark room for 1 to 3 hours? Do they show up to get out of the house, to go on a date, to spend time with their families? You can make a case for these, or any other reason as to why people go to a theater, and in some ways you may indeed be correct. But that's not the main reason why people go to the movie theater, is it? What do you suppose is the main reason that people go to the movie theater...?

TO SEE THE MOVIE, OF COURSE...!!!

That's not hard to figure out; if it is then you're not paying attention. Simply put, there's something about the movie itself that attracts people to the theater: comedy, romance, action, suspense, horror, fantasy, science fiction, or some combination thereof is what gets people's attention. It's the movies themselves that drive all the activities: the concessions, the arcade, the atmosphere...none of that would happen at all if the movies weren't any good. Just like the theaters, you have to have something to offer, some reason as to why people should pay attention to you. You must become a continual work in progress, an ongoing "coming attraction," so to speak. Just as with the movie house (yes, I'm dating myself a bit), you must give people a reason to want to come to you, to be drawn to you. Theaters know they need to advertise what they have on the inside to give people a reason to come to them.

You need to do the same thing, to develop yourself in such a way that what is in you comes out as naturally as breathing, like night follows day. Continually work to improve your knowledge, your wisdom, your insights, your perspective, your viewpoint, even your opinion. When you do, you can share what you have learned in such a way that people want to hear more from you and know more about you. Make sure you do so with a humility of spirit and you become a magnet to which people are naturally drawn, like a moth is drawn to a flame. You give them just enough knowledge to make them curious about you, but not too much that you overwhelm them or turn them off.

You can become your own feature film and preview of future attractions all at once. I once heard someone say that if you live like wildfire, people will come and watch you burn. Neil Diamond sang about turning on your heartlight. Even the Bible talks about letting your light shine (Matthew 5:16). It all means the same thing: if you want people to approach you, they need to know what you have on the inside.  And when they look inside the see the real you, make sure they see this as your main feature:

CONVICTION: a strong persuasion or belief, the state of being convinced 

It is your sense of conviction, straight from the heart, that makes you the most attractive to like minded people. Nurture and cultivate your conviction, and you will become attractive. Even if everyone doesn't agree with what you say, they will respect your for having something to say, along with the willingness to stand by it.  Here's a thought from a man from a man who became a legend in his profession, so much so that his name is spoken with reverence more than forty years after his passing. The championship trophy given to the winning team at the end of each football season bears his name. Whether in sports or any other field, his words ring true and profound:

"Once a man has made a commitment to a way of life, he puts the greatest strength in the world behind him. It's something we call HEART POWER (emphasis mine). Once a man has made this commitment, nothing will stop him short of success." - Vince Lombardi

It is the gift inside you, the knowledge, the passion, the conviction, that draws people to you and keeps them coming back for more. As you continue to refine your nature and character, you will more easily be seen as the Coming Attraction to which people will flock with anticipation, the one whose presence they enjoy, and the one of whom they will say they can't wait to find out what you will do next, because they know whatever you have up your sleeve, it will be special.

That's all for now. Until we meet again remember:

Keep it simple... See ya!

Know Where To Tap

I heard a story years ago about a handyman named Smith that was called to a home to check on a homeowner's furnace. Apparently it wasn't putting out any heat, which is a big deal in the midst of a brutally cold winter. Smith arrived at the house and was led by Johnson, the homeowner, into the basement where the furnace was located. Smith studied the furnace for a few moments, then took out a monkey wrench from his toolbox and proceeded to tap the main housing unit in a specific location for about two to three minutes. About a minute after Smith stopped his tapping, the furnace kicked into gear and immediately started pumping out heat, and before long the entire house was toasty warm.

Johnson was overjoyed, happy, ecstatic beyond words, and most grateful for Smith being able to solve the problem. Johnson's gratitude was short lived however, when he saw the numbers on the bill as the Smith packed up his tools. He was livid, to say the very least. "TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS..!!!?? I can't believe it...this is highway robbery!" Johnson roared. "How can you justify charging me such an outrageous amount of money for just a couple of minutes of tapping on my furnace..??" Smith paused for a moment, smiled and calmly replied:

"Twenty dollars to tap...One hundred eighty dollars...KNOW WHERE TO TAP..."

Moral of the story:

What is in your heart gets you in the door,
But it's what you know that they're paying for... 

People pay for knowledge, for expertise. No more, no less. It's as simple as that. If you know something other people don't know, and they have an interest in what you know, they see your knowledge as valuable and they'll find a way to compensate you for it.

You may have heard it said that people don't care what you know until they know that you care.  That is indeed true, but once people know that you care, you had better believe they care about what you know. When I coached youth baseball and soccer years ago I had great relationships with many of the kids I coached, as well as their parents. But there's no way those relationships would have been nearly as solid as they were if any of the kids, or their parents, felt for even a second that I had no idea what I was talking about. I was able to share lessons I had learned over the years about baseball and soccer with the kids and their parents, and was held in high esteem as a result. Many times I had parents, especially the dads, asking me, "Where did you learn about all this?" Simply put, I had their attention (and their admiration) because I knew something about baseball and soccer that they didn't know, and not only that, I was willing to share what I knew.

If this holds true from a volunteer standpoint, how much more crucial is this to understand when people are paying for your services? You must understand this: when you are being compensated for what you do, people are saying they appreciate the value you bring to their lives. And the more valuable your skills, your knowledge, your expertise, the more willing they are to show appreciation for what you have brought to them to make their lives easier. The father of professional baseball Harry Wright once said, "If we make the games worth watching, no one will find fault with the price." ("Baseball: A Film By Ken Burns, First Inning: Our Game, 1994) This notion does not only apply to sports but also to every area of life where a product is bought or sold, or a service delivered. Bring value to the table, over and above what is expected, and you'll never have a problem finding someone who wants what you have to offer, even if they have to chase you down to get it.  They'll be the moth, you'll be the flame.

That's all I have for now. I trust this has been helpful. Please feel free to share any feedback, as I know I'm not perfect, and there's plenty of room for me to improve, just like anyone else.

So until me meet again, make it a great day and remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!

Get Up Off The Mat

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows...it's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. Now you, me, or nobody's gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get it, and keep moving forward, how much you can take, and keep moving forward...that's how winning is done!! Now if you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody..! Cowards do that, and THAT AIN'T YOU! YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT..!!" - from the film "Rocky Balboa"

One of the biggest lies many people believe is that successful people never fail, never have setbacks, never have any trouble, any problems, any difficulty or adversity. Nothing could be further from the truth. I once heard Lou Holtz say, "You show me someone who is successful and I'll show you someone who has overcome some form of adversity." Les Brown says, "Whenever I'm knocked down I hope I land on my back, because if I can look up, I can get up."

Everybody gets knocked down at some point in their lives. No exceptions. That's the fact, Jack. The dividing line between those that win and those that lose, has nothing to do with whether or not you suffer setbacks, but it does have everything to do with how you respond. Some people choose to sit down and wallow in their defeat like a pig in a pigpen, others choose to learn a lesson from the experience and move forward, determined not to allow themselves to fall victim to such a predicament ever again. Either way, it's their choice to do with that situation whatever they like.

It's the same way with all of us. We can see setbacks as a brake pedal or a gas pedal; they hold us back or drive us forward. It's up to us to decide what they do to us...or for us.

Sports are a microcosm of life. You look at many popular sports: baseball, football, basketball, boxing, hockey, soccer, golf, and many others, and you will find this one thing in common: at some point during the contest, somebody gets knocked down or suffers a setback of some kind. But you look at the ones who win the match, and hold the cup, the bowl, the trophy, whatever the prize, and you will see someone who found a way to respond in the midst of their adversity that allowed them to grow strong through the process. You will also discover that the victor holding the spoils has a great appreciation for the reward they have earned because of what they went through to reach the winner's circle.

So don't be discouraged in your life if you experience a reversal, whether it's a business deal that fell through, a job loss, a personal rejection in the form of divorce or separation...or even a death in the family. Whatever it is, the pain of that moment , as much as it hurts, and as intense as it feels, is not built to last. But you are, so feel the hurt, give yourself as much time as you need to grieve, allow the hurt to pass. And when you're done, get off the mat, get back on your feet, and give it another go at this experience we call life.

Tough times don't last, but tough people do. Be one of those tough people. Let you setback help you bounce back so you can enjoy your comeback.

"Pain is temporary. It may last for a minute, or an hour, or a day, or even a year, but eventually it will subside, and something else will take its place. If I quit however, it will last forever." 
- Lance Armstrong

That's all for now folks. I'll talk with you again soon, so until we meet again remember:

Keep it simple.... See ya!


Pearls: Wisdom and Insight For the Life You Live Today

Why I HATE (!!!!) Car Shopping

"Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still." - Dale Carnegie

I HATE CAR SHOPPING...!!! (It's one of the few things I hate more than getting a root canal, but I digress...need to stay on point  here)  I'm talking about buying a used car. Yes, I realize they're called "pre-owned" nowadays, but to me they're still USED. (Someone did USE them after all, didn't they...? DUH..!!) Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with buying a car that has been around the block a few times. I am grateful to the previous owner who drove the car long enough to break it in. And it never hurts to save a few bucks if you can get a chance to do so. Why pay more money when you really don't have to, right...? (Look here: http://yhoo.it/1e3dVzA) No, it's not the previous owners I take issue with, or the car itself. It's the typical car buying process, or more specifically, having to deal with the typical used car salesperson. They're the reason I dread even thinking about stepping on the lot. Yeah, yeah, I know they're just "doing their job," I get it. But the idea of being viewed in a manner not unlike fresh roadkill is one I don't readily cherish. Having salespeople nearby ready to pounce on me like ravenous vultures descending on a fresh carcass gives me the creeps. It starts so innocently, though I know where they'd like to steer the conversation (no pun intended):

How ya doin' today? 
Nice weather we're having, isn't it? 
Great day for a drive, don't you think so...?

(Some of these conversation starters have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but that's just my opinion)

I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't want to start a conversation before I'm ready to talk to anyone ("I'm just looking" means just that; I'm looking and I'm not ready to talk to anyone yet...when I'm ready to speak with you I'll let you know. So leave me alone already until I have something to say...some folks just don't want to read the memo, y'know?) Did you ever speak with someone or shake their hand, and feel like you need to take a shower afterwards? That's how I feel after speaking with salespeople at times...not all of them mind you, just certain ones who have a way of talking you into a corner from which there seems to be no escape.  I don't like the idea of being manipulated into doing something I really don't want to do, whether it's buying a car, a house, or any item I don't care about in the least. They have more interest in their bottom line than in me. or so it would seem.

Forgive me if you happen to be a salesperson reading this post, I don't mean to bash salespeople as a whole. It isn't fair to lump all of them with such stereotypes as I've described; I'm speak only from my own personal experience. In any field you will find excellent professionals and those that leave much to be desired. I guess I've always been the type of person who doesn't like to be talked into doing something that does not interest me, when doing so makes me feel as if someone else has made the decision for me, a decision I didn't want to make (or never would have made) in the first place. I just pointed out car shopping as an example, but I'm sure you can come up with some examples from your own life where you felt like people have tried to talk you into making choices you wanted to avoid like the plague. It's never any fun to have choices thrust on you by others, when you know like you know your own name they are lying to you when they say they have your best interests at heart. They don't; it's their own interests they care about the most, and they hope you won't catch on until it's too late to say or do anything about it.

Maybe I'm going over the top here, but to me having someone lead me down a road I don't want to travel makes me feel like I'm being violated somehow. What makes it worse is having someone try to convince me that what I want is the same thing they want (when I know it isn't), as if they know me better than I know myself. That's a blatant insult to my intelligence. At least that's how I feel, maybe you do too. It is said that there are two types of people in this world: those who make people glad with their presence, and those who make people glad with their absence. I would much rather be the former, and I believe you would, too.

In view of this, may I make a humble suggestion?   If you really want people to be interested in what you have to offer (yes, even if you're trying to sell a car), do what I taught my children and their friends to do:

Remember that God gave you TWO ears and only ONE mouth, and use them in the proportion to which they were given to you. Show twice as much interest in what the other person wants, and when you do speak, speak twice as often about what the other person wants as you speak about what you want. You will find that you are a much more engaging person, and more people will want to speak with you, because the sweetest sound anyone can hear is the sound of their own name, with the sound of topics that are of interest to them coming in a very close second. Not only will they speak with you, they'll talk with you, they'll confide in you, they'll seek counsel from you, and believe it or not, when you do speak...they'll LISTEN to you.  Shocking, huh?

How much better would you feel if people came to you seeking your input because they knew you had some insights that they could use, some knowledge they would appreciate? Doesn't that sound better than the alternative, having to chase someone down (known as stalking in some parts, which is illegal by the way) in a desperate attempt to get them to listen to what you had to say? Understand this, and never forget it:

The one being pursued is the one with the power.

This holds true in any situation,, whether it's a personal relationship or a professional one. If you don't believe me, then tell me why it seems to be more exhausting to be the pursuer rather than the pursued? Because the pursued doesn't have to prove their value; it has already been established, that's why they're being pursued. The burden of proof is always on the side of the pursuer to show the one being pursued that they are worth paying attention to. What you want is to be the one in the position of being pursued, the one who is seen by others as having value worthy not only of attention, but appreciation as well.

And how do you accomplish this...?  There's a key component that puts you in position to be chased by people who want what you have to offer. It's the one thing that makes you stand out in a crowd, and it leads people to you like moths to a flame. It is also something which I'll share with you in an upcoming post. I think I've given quite a mouthful to chew on for now.

Okay, that's all for now....

Tune in next time,
Same Bat Time,
Same Bat Channel...

Y'all come back now, y'hear..?

And remember folks:

Keep it simple... See ya!


It's Not About You: A Little Story About What Matters Most in Business