Hard Work is HEART Work

"Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as something done for the Lord and not for men." - Colossians 3:23 AMP

"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious." - Vince Lombardi

"I don't like the subtle infiltration of 'something for nothing' philosophies into the very hearthstone of the American family. I believe that 'Thou shalt earn the bread by the sweat of thy face' was a benediction and not a penalty. Work is the zest of life; there is joy in its pursuit." - Branch Rickey

I once heard someone say that work is not a curse, but drudgery is. At the time I wasn't sure I agreed with that statement for two reasons: one, because I didn't know what that person meant, and two, because to me there was no difference. I thought work and drudgery were the same thing: boredom, a complete waste of time, just going through the motions doing something you hated, a nonstop cycle of frustration and misery with no plan, no passion, and worst of all, no purpose.

I am glad to say that as time has passed I learned my original assumptions about work were totally wrong. It is possible to do something you enjoy without feeling any misery. Work can be rewarding and creative, work can provide passion and sense of purpose to one's life, and work can be fulfilling to such a degree that even when you're done at the end of the day, you want to "sleep fast" because you can't wait for the next day to start so you can get up and do it again.

Working at what you enjoy can provide a "good tired," as I heard a friend say not long ago. What's a "good tired," you ask? It's the kind of tired you feel after working full out from the heart, engaged in activity that is totally in tune with who you are from the inside out, work that gives you a "no place else I'd rather be" feeling because it allows you to express who you truly are from the heart in "I work, therefore I am" manner. It's the kind of work that allows you to be your fully creative, fully unique self. It's the type of work that can only be done by someone like you because no one else can do what you do, the way you do it.

Of baseball, Doris Kearns Goodwin observed that it "allows you to think of nothing else."  People who are in tune with themselves feel the same way about the work they do. They are engaged in ways that allow them full expression of all their faculties: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. To borrow a recently coined phrase from the game, they express themselves with "maximum effort." They can do so without distractions or detours. They're so into what they do they're like a dog in the hunt, they don't know (and don't care) if they've got fleas...now that's focus!

At day's end, they may feel exhausted but not drained, because they work to serve others, not to please them. They express their genuine selves without feeling the need to fake their way into gaining favor from anyone. They are energized, even rejuvenated, because they know their work was not in vain; that's what matters most. They know their contribution carries the potential to make a significant impact on the lives of others and it gives them a sense of purpose, fulfillment and pride they can't get anywhere else. They don't dread tomorrow but look forward to it because while they may stop to rest, they understand it is not just sleep, it's a recharge that lets them take on a new day with passion and a purpose, a purpose that helps them to be true to themselves and to others because it comes straight from the heart, which is the source of their strength:

"This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege - my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I've got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations." - George Bernard Shaw

If you don't want this:

DRUDGERY: boring, difficult, unpleasant work; dull, irksome, fatiguing work: uninspiring or menial labor

Then find something to do that makes your spirit soar, makes your heart sing. Find something to do that brings joy to your life and to the lives of other people. Do something that allows you to reach out from your heart to the hearts of others. Most of all, find something to do that lets you express the real you, the one with whom you most need to be true. Because no matter how hard you try to justify yourself, you cannot expect others to live to their true potential while you settle for living a lie. Don't cheat yourself like that:

Find your good cause. Bring your heart to your work, and work your heart out. When you do, you will achieve your finest hour, the moment when you'll be able to bask in the glow of your exhausted moment, spent, fulfilled...and victorious.

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!

Will Beats Skill

"A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done." - Vince Lombardi

Every spring the National Hockey League holds its postseason tournament, the Stanley Cup playoffs. Four rounds are played from April to June in the quest to determine a champion. Sixteen teams qualify, and the first team to win sixteen games will have their names engraved on Lord Stanley's Cup, the ultimate prize in hockey. Without a doubt these players are among the most highly skilled athletes in their sport. Each team has the skill, speed, and stamina required to skate off with the Cup, yet only one team can win the title. What separates the last team standing from the fifteen that fall short? It would appear the difference at this level is more mental than physical. These seven factors seem to draw a line:

WILL: a strong desire or determination to do something 
DETERMINATION: a quality that makes you continue trying to do or achieve something that is difficult 
PERSEVERANCE: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition 
PERSISTENCE: the quality that allows someone to continue doing something or trying to do something even though it is difficult or opposed by other people 
STEADFASTNESS: firmness in belief, determination, adherence; state of being firmly fixed in place, not subject to change
DEDICATION: self-sacrificing devotion for a particular cause or purpose  
PASSION: a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something; intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction

The players' fortitude and resolve is tested beyond physical limits. This is called "gut check time," a moment of challenge when the players find out, as the saying goes, "who wants it more." A popular saying among hockey commentators when games become tense and a big play is needed to make the difference between victory and defeat is:

WILL BEATS SKILL

In real life, just like in sports, internal motivation drives the external engine. Some say the difference between setting a goal and reaching that goal is action, but at times we're challenged with fear, doubt, and uncertainty that we'll be able to reach the goal we've set. Doubts creep in when we feel like we have to justify ourselves to others concerning the goals we seek to accomplish. When push comes to shove we must be able to forge ahead, to power through mentally, emotionally, even spiritually, to win our prize when talent and skill alone is not enough to get the job done. The opponent we often face is not outside but inside, most likely between the ears:

"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will." - Kaddim Seddiki

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." - William Shakespeare

It is at these moments that we must not only take note of what we do, but why we do it. Our will is the answer to our "why," and it powers our drive to succeed just like the fuel that gives energy to cars, taking us where we want to go. Our why could be something, or more important, our why could be someone. Whether it's something we want to achieve, or someone we want to spend our precious time with, our why has to be personal. Some may call it selfish, but that really doesn't matter. Our goal is just that, OURS, and no criticism by anyone who doesn't understand our motivation (or our dedication) really matters:

"He who has a why can endure any how." - Friederich Nietzsche

"In order to succeed,  your desire for success must be greater than your fear of failure." - Bill Cosby

When all is said and done, it's not your skill, but your will that gives you the urge to keep going when all logic tells you it makes more sense to give up the fight, that all the people you know who settled for an average life would understand if you just quit. Ask yourself: do you want to be satisfied with life as a copy of mediocrity, or would you rather be a magnificent original?

"Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity." - Will Smith

Anyone can be average, anyone can settle...only the unique, those willing to stand out can be truly magnificent.  The question is...will YOU?

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple...See ya!

P.S.  Having challenges in your business?  Maybe this article will help:

http://bit.ly/1m3HgNZ

Don't Berate...Celebrate!!!

Have you ever gotten angry with yourself, frustrated because you didn't do as much with your time and talents as you thought you "should" have? I know I have, and I'll bet you've done it too. But stop and think for a moment. When you feel that level of frustration kicking in, whose expectations are you trying to meet, yours or someone else's?  Chances are you were trying to live up to expectations placed on you by someone else. I'd go so far as to say that you were trying to BE someone else. How many times has someone told you that "in their opinion" you are capable of doing so much more with your talents? How many times have you berated yourself because you supposedly let someone down, someone who tried to get you to do something you had no business trying to do in the first place? And how many times have people gotten upset with you, even told you how disappointed there were in you, because you did something they didn't expect you to do, or worse, didn't want you to do?

Think about it: we all beat ourselves up unfairly from time to time because we think we "should" have done it sooner, "should" have learned it faster, "should" have done it better, no matter what "it" is...I'm sure you can come up with some "should's" of your own. We get in our own way, we slam the brakes on ourselves when we should be hitting the gas. And why do we do this anyway? Because we think we "should" be more like somebody else, that's why! We hear stories about other people's achievements, meant to encourage us ("...if I can do it, you can do it, too.."  sound familiar?) but in reality, they often backfire. Though shared with the best intentions, some people misunderstand. They think they have to succeed in exactly the same way that other people achieved success...if they don't then they're a failure... and that becomes an unintended burden as a result.

We are all born for the purpose of expressing our true selves, but we waste time trying to copy others. We fool ourselves into thinking we fall short, believing we aren't good enough to be seen or heard. Truth is, we really are better equipped for success than we could possibly imagine, we just haven't given ourselves a chance to let others see how unique, how precious, how valuable we really are:

"You are designed by God not to blend in, but to stand out..You are meant to be going somewhere, to be headed to a destination...Anyone who develops his gifts and talents will become a commodity...The Bible does not say that a man's education makes room for him, but that his gift does. Education is not the key to success, it doesn't guarantee anything; it is your gift that is the key to success...Hard work and diligence are essential to success, but they require an internal motivation. That internal motivation is Vision...Purpose is when you know and understand what you were born to accomplish. Vision is when you see it in your mind and begin to imagine it." - Dr. Myles Munroe 

Stop comparing yourself to people you were never meant to be. Stop trying to live up to expectations for yourself you never should have accepted.  Stop hating yourself for failing to meet impossibly high standards.
Be grateful (not hateful) for the progress you make each day, however little that progress may be...

Stop beating yourself up and pat yourself on the back more often. Celebrate the progress you make each day. Even if you go the wrong way from time to time, you still have a chance to make adjustments so long as you have breath in your lungs and a beat in your heart.

The only person you have to be better than is the one you were yesterday.  Even if you're down you don't have to stay there. It's not how far you fall, it's how high you bounce.

"When life knocks you down try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up." - Les Brown

That's all for now, gotta run... Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple... See ya!

The Biggest Lesson I Learned While Delivering Pizza

VALUE (noun): relative worth, utility, or importance; usefulness
VALUE (verb): to think that (someone or something) is important or useful; to rate or scale in usefulness, importance, or general worth: EVALUATE; to consider or rate highly: PRIZE, ESTEEM

"Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value." - Albert Einstein

"I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune that may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value." - Herman Hesse, Siddhartha

"We can no more afford to spend major time on minor things than we can to spend minor time on major things." - Jim Rohn

"You always succeed at what you value." - James Arthur Ray, Author "Harmonic Wealth: The Secret of Attractive the Life You Want"

I worked as a delivery driver for a pizza shop for six years, and if I didn't learn anything else from that experience I learned this: If you ask a hundred pizza lovers what kind of pizza they like best, you will get a hundred different answers. No two pizza lovers are alike; they enjoy their pizza differently: toppings, sauce, cheeses, crust, you name it. Like the saying goes, "different strokes for different folks." What's important to one is not so much to another.

You may have heard the saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder..." Well, value is the same way; it is subjective; its importance varies from one person to the next. As a delivery driver it was not my job to figure out which pizza was best for my customers. It was my job to find out what they considered most important to have on their pizza and make sure I delivered it to them in a timely manner, with a servant's heart. If we had what they wanted I made sure they got it, and that they were happy with what they had been given. If they weren't happy I had to do all I could to make the situation right for them. Because their satisfaction is what mattered, not mine.

Delivering value is no different than delivering pizza: find out what is important to your customer, your prospect, your partner, then find ways to provide what they want. Find out what matters most to them, what's most useful and beneficial to them, then serve them with enthusiasm, doing your very best to work things out to their advantage.

"You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want." - Zig Ziglar

Long story short, if you can deliver the value like you can deliver pizza, you'll never have to worry about making enough dough. (pun intended)

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple...See ya!

Bring The Sizzle, Sell The Steak

I read a story years ago about John McGraw, the Hall of Fame manager who built championship teams with the New York Giants in the early 1900's. During spring training one year he could not agree with one of his players on the terms of a new contract for the upcoming season. Neither side was willing to give an inch. Training camp had already started, and while the player was in town, he did not work out with the team. McGraw, however, knew the player loved a hot, juicy steak, a "weakness" he used to his advantage:

Mr. McGraw also knew this young man dined at the same restaurant where the rest of the team ate. So he ordered steak dinners for all of his players, knowing this young man would be there to witness it. Every night the young man watched his teammates feasting like kings while he settled for eating sandwiches. Before long the "torture" of being on the outside looking in was too much to bear; he couldn't take it any longer. He stormed into the restaurant, walked straight to McGraw's table, and agreed to sign a new contract for any amount the Giants were willing to pay, if he could just have one of those juicy steaks.  Mr. McGraw smiled, shook the young man's hand, offered him a seat at his table, and ordered a steak to welcome his wayward player back into the fold. Mission accomplished!

"You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want."       - Zig Ziglar 

McGraw wanted the player to sign; he knew the young man loved steak. But more than that, McGraw knew the "sizzle," a chance to play for the Giants, was too good to resist, so Mr. McGraw pulled out all the stops to get the young man to understand how great this opportunity was, even if the young man had to be "bribed" with steak to seize it. Since going the extra mile meant doing whatever it took to get the deal done, he made sure the player got the steak, and by getting the former holdout to agree to a new contract, McGraw made sure the young man got the sizzle, too.  Win-Win.

The "sizzle" means different things to different people: a chance to spend more time with family, a new house, a new car, some home improvements. It could be extra money in the bank, a college education, a retirement fund, maybe a chance to get out of debt or quit their job. It could be some other result they'd like to achieve, a change in their life they desperately need. Whatever the result they seek, keep this principle in mind:

Nobody buys a drill because they want a drill, they buy a drill because they want a hole...they want the RESULT they can get from buying the drill, not the drill itself.

Whatever you have to offer, people need to see that your offer can help them get the result they want. It's not your job to talk anyone into accepting what you have to offer, it's your job to show them that your offer can help them achieve the result they want. It's always about them, it's never about you. Help them get what they want and you'll never have to be concerned with getting what you want.

Show them that you can help them get the "sizzle," and you'll never have to worry about selling the steak...

Bon appetit!

That's all for now, gotta run. Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!


P.S.  What do the mlm gurus know that you don't? Find out how they play by a different set of rules than everyone else...and...how your company teachings are actually causing you to fail:

Check Your Ego At The Door If You Want To Win

"The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime." - Babe Ruth

I remember watching a Little League baseball game a few years ago. One of the players went to bat with a runner on first base. The coach gave him a sign to lay down a sacrifice bunt. I saw the sign, the batter did, too. But he ignored coach's instructions, swung at a pitch he liked and hit a line drive, which the second baseman caught easily for an out. As he walked back to the bench the coach asked if he saw the bunt sign; the batter said yes. When asked why he didn't bunt, the batter said,

"Because I didn't WANNA sacrifice..!"  Not surprisingly, his team lost the game...by a single run...

EGOTISM: excessive use of the first person singular personal pronoun; the practice of talking about oneself too much; an exaggerated sense of self-importance: CONCEIT (too much pride in your own worth or goodness); the feeling or belief that you are better, more important, more talented, etc., than other people

In sports or any other profession, selfishness is not a recipe for success. I can't say it any plainer than that. Many people belong to organizations capable of excellence, of impact, of significance, but because egos get in the way more often than not their best efforts fall short.  To some, individual accolades mean more than group accomplishments. Precious time is wasted trying to prove who's right, who's wrong, and who's better than who, instead of building up the team, which increases everybody's chances for success. People who claim to be interested in serving others get bogged down in lip service, making sure they shine brightest of all when they stand in the spotlight.  Everything they say and do screams, "LOOK AT ME! I'M SPECIAL! I'M WORTHY OF YOUR ATTENTION!"  Such behavior does not draw people in, it turns people off and pushes them away. In the end, it isn't admired, only tolerated, and not for long. People with an overinflated sense of self put others down in an attempt to lift themselves up, often without realizing it. Such behavior only serves to tear an organization apart, sometimes beyond repair if the rift is serious enough:

"Any kingdom that is divided against itself is being brought to desolation and laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will last or continue to stand." - Matthew 12:25 AMP 

As serious as this situation can be, it is not hard to remedy. A friend shared this with me recently. I thought it was a great way to address the issue. I can sum it up in three words:  A SERVANT'S HEART...

Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

The people were then let into that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written on it within 5 minutes.  Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon. Then the speaker asked each person to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon. The speaker then began,

"This is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life...the pursuit of happiness."

"The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped." - Proverbs 11:25 The Message Bible

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." - Harry S. Truman

You ask any championship team you've ever seen and they'll all say the same thing, THERE IS NO "I" IN TEAM. Nobody wins by dwelling on individual statistics. To paraphrase the late Barry White, team goals are FIRST, team goals are LAST, team goals are EVERYTHING. I like what the Marines say, "No one left behind." Team success is for the WHOLE team, not just a few superstars...but everyone must play a part in making it happen. Everyone has a role to play for the good of the team. A team win is a T.E.A.M. win (Together, Everyone Achieves More) if every member of the team contributes. You must be willing to sacrifice something for the benefit of everyone else in the group, knowing and trusting that everyone else in the group is willing to do the same for you.  If you're willing to do that, you'll learn something very important: just like a potluck supper, nobody enjoys the feast until everybody brings their specialty to the table.

"Either we heal now, as a team...or we will die, as individuals..." - Al Pacino, Any Given Sunday

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember...

Keep it simple... See ya!

16 Reasons Why Its So Important To Follow Your Dreams

16 Reasons Why Its So Important To Follow Your Dreams

What Kind of Magnet Are You?

MAGNETIC:  having great power to attract and hold the interest of other people

"The essence of influence is pull, not push. Great influencers attract people to themselves and to their ideas." - Bob Burg, Author: "The Go Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea," "Go Givers Sell More," "Endless Referrals," and "It's Not About You: A Little Story About What Matters Most in Business"

INFLUENCE:  the power to change or affect someone or something; the power to cause changes without directly forcing them to happen; a person or thing that affects someone or something in an important way

Have you ever seen a magnet work? It's really a marvelous thing to see. I remember being amazed at what it could do the first time I saw it work. It was fascinating to see how a magnet could pick up metallic objects (like iron filings) as it passed over them. It was as powerful as it was effortless:

Talk to most people about magnets and they think of attraction. But magnets are like coins; they have two sides. One end can attract, while the other end can repel. People are like magnets, too. We attract some while repelling others.  How can this be, you ask? In my humble opinion, the difference can be found by understanding two simple words:

HEART and HYPE

HEART: one's innermost character, feelings, or inclinations; generous disposition
COMPASSION (a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, in trouble, etc.; a sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it)

HYPE: deception, put-on, publicity, especially: promotional publicity of an exaggerated on contrived kind

HEART attracts...HYPE repels...
HEART is genuine...HYPE is manufactured...
HEART is true...HYPE is false...
HEART relates...HYPE exaggerates...

And the most important distinction, the one that separates those who attract from those who repel:

HYPE promises...HEART delivers...

So if you want to be attractive to people, stop pushing people away with hype, lead with your heart instead and you will become the Pied Piper who can move the crowd.

"Once a man has made a commitment to a way of life, he puts the greatest strength in the world behind him. It's something we call heart power. Once a man has made this commitment, nothing will stop him short of success." - Vince Lombardi

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!

GSU Head Football Coach Bill Curry delivers Words of Inspiration

I Cannot Let Them Down

"Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others." - Philippians 2:4 AMP

"Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment." - Tony Robbins

Georgia State University football coach Bill Curry speaks of a concept called "magnanimitas" (Latin for "greatness of spirit"), where we increase our capacity for good exponentially as we give of ourselves to a cause greater than ourselves.

He spoke about how easy it would have been to give up during a game, how he just didn't feel like smashing his face into Dick Butkus for the 75th time. It would have been easier to quit on his assignments, miss a few blocks, walk off the field at the end of the game, suck on some oxygen and call it a day, he said.  But he didn't quit. Why? What motivated him to keep going when he felt like giving up? The money? No. The Super Bowl ring? No. The coach's fiery pep talk? No, none of these things kept him from quitting. He didn't quit because he looked at his teammates. He saw how they were willing to do more than they thought they could do to help the team win; how could he do any less? He looked at each one of them and said within himself:

"I cannot let him down..."

Now I didn't play football like Bill Curry did, but I do understand what he is saying. I have two reasons, two very personal, very important reasons to echo Coach Curry's words. I met my first reason on November 16, 1997 at 3:20 pm. I met my second reason on September 7, 2003 at 10:39 am. Looking into my children's faces for the first time, seeing their curious eyes stare into my own, wondering what was going on, I knew without a doubt I would do anything I possibly could to make sure they were taken care of, not just the physical comforts like food and shelter, but the caretaking of their identities, their sense of self-esteem, of self-worth, of value. I knew it was my assignment to take the lead block for each of them to ensure they are able to reach whatever goals they set in life, and failure to block for them, to clear a path that allows them to run for daylight, is not, nor will ever be an option.

So if that means I have to do what seems unusual, unpopular, or unreasonable to others for the sake of my children to help them become successful, so be it. If that means I have to endure criticism from people who don't why I do the things I do, fine. I have no problem turning my back on people who have nothing better to say about what I do than:

"If I were you I wouldn't do that..." or "It doesn't take all that..." or, "I don't understand, what you're doing just doesn't make any sense..."

You see, if it was just about me I would quit, I would give up. After all the doubters and dream thieves will tell you all day long that it's okay to give up the fight, even reasonable. But I choose to be unreasonable because it isn't all about me, just like it isn't all about you. We need to have someone in our lives more important than ourselves who drives us, spurs us, compels us to do more than we believed ourselves capable. We need them to tug at our hearts, to believe in us, count on us and encourage us to be our best selves at all times. And even if we do stumble and fall at times they look at us in the midst of our weakness, beyond our faults and our flaws, and continue to see the best within us despite any evidence that may suggest otherwise.

These are the ones whose expectations we live up to, the ones whose opinion matters more to us than anyone else's. They inspire us to do more than we thought we could do, to become more than we thought we could ever be.  It is their eyes which look to us, expecting us go before them to straighten the path, point the way, lead the way, be their guide. As we see them and they see us, the still small voice echoes deep within our hearts:

I cannot let them down...

Can you..?

Learn What You DON'T Want

Here's something I believe many people can relate to...

This incident happened on my job several years ago. Thanksgiving weekend was coming up, and because there were few people working in our department at that time we had a set rotation where each year only one person could take the day after Thanksgiving off to enjoy a four day weekend. This particular year it was my turn to have that day. But a few days before the holiday I was talking with a coworker of mine about what I'd be doing on my off day. It had already been approved, and everything went off without a hitch...or so I thought.

My coworker told me she'd heard that someone else on the team was going on paternity leave, and had been given that entire week off. This was news to me, the kind of news I didn't like, so I went to see the department manager who granted me the approval, to see what was going on. I asked if it was true that someone else in the department had been granted paternity leave. She verified that it was true, which meant I would not be able to take the day off as had been previously scheduled. Since this decision affected me, I asked why I was not notified of the change in plans.  The manager's response was sheepish at best (and I'm being kind; I could easily say something less complimentary): "I apologize for that.."

I'm sure you can understand my response to all this was not, "Oh, that's all right..." It was NOT all right. I stormed out of her office. I was livid about having that day off taken away from me. What if I had made plans to go out of town for the weekend? What if I hadn't had that conversation by chance with another co-worker? Would I have been penalized for taking time off without knowing I was expected to come to work that day? And why do I need to get permission from a stranger to spend time with my children? What kind of crap is that...?

As frustrated as I was, as angry as I felt, what bothered me most of all was the sense that it couldn't be helped. I felt powerless to do anything about it, and hated feeling that way. Not to be overly dramatic here, but I felt like I was being held hostage financially and I had no way to pay the ransom to win my freedom. I couldn't escape, so the best I could do was hold on, hang in there, keep a stiff upper lip and hope my kids wouldn't be too disappointed in me for not spending time with them like I'd promised (yet again), because life had dealt me a bad hand and I had to "just deal with" the cards I'd been given.

Well, that's how I used to feel...and I'll bet some of you have felt the same way too. But I found out that the game has rules, and I was losing the game because I didn't know the rules. I also found out I could learn the rules, apply them to my own life and achieve success, just like others before me had done.  I could use the rules to turn the results in my favor.

So now, instead of feeling helpless I feel hopeful. I don't have all the results I want just yet, but now that I've gotten started, I can get help from people along the way who know the rules better than I do. Now I can finally give myself a chance to do those things I've always wanted to do, with the people who matter to me the most: my son, my daughter, and anyone else who I hold close to my heart.

If I could say anything to you right now it would be this:

Learn what you DON'T want in life, and you'll take a giant leap toward finding out what you do.

That's all y'all, gotta run....until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!


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Joy Is Contagious

My favorite music genre is smooth jazz, and one of my favorite jazz musicians is Dave Koz. He is hard not to like, as it so much fun to watch him play saxophone. It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind atmosphere of his performances. Everyone who plays music with Dave seems to enjoy the experience, and from the looks of things, Dave sees to it that they feel this way. He is as admired and respected for his work ethic as he is for his talent.

I don't know Dave Koz personally, but from what I can see it's understandable why anyone would want to work with him, or watch him perform. His style of play seems to be inspired, and he never seems to tire of performing. He is as energetic as he is enthusiastic, and he seems to feed off the energy of the audience, which in turn seems to feed off of his energy onstage. With his magnetic personality to match, Dave Koz has the spirit and skill that makes a winning combination.

From Dave I have learned a valuable lesson which I'd like to share with you, a lesson that can help you in all your relationships, whether personal or professional. I can state it simply as this:

Be a fun person to be around.

Now when I say that I don't mean you have to be silly or goofy. You don't have to, as the old folks said back in the day, "act a'fool," but it does help you relate to others if you are an enthusiastic person, or at the very least an optimistic one. Be the type of person that other people look forward to spending time with. It doesn't always have to be a serious business situation. There are important issues to be tackled each day, to be sure, but they don't have to be addressed on a 24-7 basis. There is time to infuse some joy in your life; things don't always have to be perfect for you to be happy. The situation you face doesn't determine whether or not you will be joyful, you do:

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." - John Wooden

If you really want to attract people to you, if you want someone to be interested in what you're doing, take a page from the lesson book of Dave Koz: whatever you do in life, do it enthusiastically, do it intensely, do it heartily, with a sense of purpose, with a sense of adventure, with a sense of joy. For joy is contagious, joy is strength, joy is power, joy is the flame that draws the moth, the honey that attracts the bees.

So determine to bring more joy to what you do, whatever it is that you do. And who knows but one day in the near future when people speak of someone they know who is exciting, inspiring, fun to be around...

...something's telling me it might be you:

That's all for now, gotta run. Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple...See ya!

The Most Important Lesson I Learned In College

I remember an important lesson I learned in college, and it had nothing to do with the courses I took. Not directly, anyway. Let me explain.

At the beginning of each semester as I stepped into the classroom, each instructor made it clear to me that their class was the most important course I'd ever take in college, so I should give the most attention to the material they were covering. It didn't matter if their class had anything to do with my major (most of them didn't, by the way), I had to focus on their class more than anybody else's, because no other class mattered but theirs. At least, that's how it seemed.  So I did as I was told. I took each instructors' advice to heart and tried to focus exclusively on their material. It didn't matter what course I was taking, I tried my best to do what they said I should do, devote myself fully to their curriculum as if my life depended on it. After all, they were the experts, they knew what they were talking about, and had my best interests at heart...right?

Well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that such a strategy is as unrealistic as it is unattainable. I couldn't do that with four to six classes on my plate every few months; it took a toll on me. I was stressed out, overwhelmed, frustrated and lacked focus. I felt lost, had no sense of direction, and was miserable 24-7. I was so turned around I didn't know which way was up. I had some serious soul-searching to do. I realized I was asking a question I had no business asking, so I shifted my thinking from, What do these people want from me? to Who am I doing this for? My college experience wasn't for their benefit, it was for mine. They were there when I got there, and they'd still be there when I left. Nothing I did or didn't do would make a difference in their lives; I had to do what was best for me. Since it would be my name on the certificate when I walked across the stage at graduation (and not theirs) I had to make this situation work best for me. So I made some adjustments. Not to be selfish, but I started looking out for Number One. I couldn't help anybody else if I couldn't help myself, so I had to keep my own best interests in mind, knowing that everybody wouldn't agree with me, but that was okay. We could agree to disagree or part ways. Either way it was all good.

Now what does that lesson have to do with the days that followed, and how does it equate to business and personal relationships?  It's really two sides of the coin:

On one side I discovered that as in college, I've met people from many different backgrounds. I've had a chance to see things from their perspective on a variety of issues. On some things we think alike, on others we don't. But that's okay, not everybody likes their pizza baked the same way, and some people don't like pizza at all. It's all good. Long story short, I got to find out what is important to them. In some cases, they tried to get me to see things their way, because in their opinion the issues they felt strongly about were the most important issues in the world. And you know what? They're right. Those issues they feel strongly about are the most important issues in the world...for them..but not for me.

Long story short, here's the most important lesson I learned in college, which I carry with me to this day:

Never let people who don't share a like mind with you, decide for you what is important to you. That's not their call to make, it's yours.

On the flip side I realized everybody has their own best interests in mind. They know better than you or I do, what they want to accomplish. We should never impose our will to get them to achieve goals that interest us. We get to choose how we live our lives, not theirs. Be willing to advise them if they ask, but don't expect others to be a carbon copy of you, that is unrealistic. Be sensitive to their objectives. If you share similar views, great. If you don't, still great. In any case, let them know that you respect their decisions and are willing to work with them so they can enjoy the outcome that works best for them. So long as they're not in a situation where their life, their health, or their safety are at risk, respect their viewpoint, their intelligence, and their decision.

If you can do that, you will find in the long run that the more you respect the decisions of others, whether you agree or not, the more others will respect you when you make your own choices.

Prioritize...and keep your eyes....on your prize... 'nuf said.

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!


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Google+ Is the Network for Writers: How to Use It to Improve Your Personal Brand

Google+ Is the Network for Writers: How to Use It to Improve Your Personal Brand

Keep Things Simple...SIMPLE!!!

I remember my Economics professor in college as an enthusiastic individual, passionate about economics, and about teaching. To say his courses were challenging is a major understatement. As each new semester began he scared his students half to death by addressing all the rumors and horror stories that he knew were circulating around campus about him and his teaching methods. And he always addressed them the same way, with one sentence that let us know right off the bat what we were in for over the next few months:

"All the rumors you heard about me?  They're all true..."

Our response...?

Miraculously, none of us dropped his class as soon as the first day was over.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that it was a required course for our majors that kept us glued (reluctantly) to our seats, as attendance was mandatory.  It didn't help our confidence much when he followed that up with this:

"You will learn that taking my class is like drinking water from a fire hydrant at full blast..."

I can honestly say, having survived four of his classes (yes, I said FOUR...I know, I know, I'm a glutton for punishment), that the good professor was true to his word: he hit us full force with everything he had, week after week and didn't let up until the day of the final exam. I can tell you in all honesty that we did get hit with enough material to resemble a fire hydrant blast on a regular basis, and while I can't speak for others in the class, I can say I was barely able to keep my head above water, I was so overwhelmed with all the material being covered from semester to semester. I was able to get my degree after all of that, but I'll never forget what it was like to sit in Prof. Mullings' classes: like I was watching four 3D movies at the same time, on four separate screens encircling me in surround sound....AUUUGGHHH...!!!!

Now maybe that last description was a bit over the top, but there is method to my madness (with apologies to Shakespeare). With all the information coming at me in my Economics classes, I wasn't able to keep my bearings very well. It was hard to focus, I didn't know which way was up at times, and as a result I wasn't always able to keep track of what I needed to do, or when I needed to get it done. It was a miracle I got anything done at all. I say all that to say this:  if you're leading people and you want to help them get where they need to go, keep these three words in mind:

KEEP THINGS SIMPLE...!!!

Yes, keep things simple. Long story short, if there are goals people want to achieve, and you give them too much to do too soon, they'll feel so overwhelmed, not only will they not know what to do first, they won't do anything at all because they'll feel like it's next to impossible because they'll feel like they have to do so many things at once.  May I make a humble suggestion...?

P-R-I-O-R-I-T-I-Z-E

Set priorities. Yes, set priorities. Let them know what is most important for them to do right now, then what's next most important, then the next thing, and the next, and so on. Everything that needs to be done is not the most important thing that needs to be done, all at the same time. This type of thinking leads to "paralysis by analysis," which leads to nothing getting done because nobody knows where to start. Complete the simplest tasks first, the ones that don't take up much time or effort. I know some people say do the hardest ones first, but I disagree, for one simple reason (remember, we're keeping things simple): each task that gets completed creates momentum and builds confidence needed to tackle the more challenging tasks ahead.  You must crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can run. Baby steps might not seem significant, but each step, no matter how small, is important as long as you're making progress:

Don't overwhelm your people and don't give them so much to do at once because you're in too much of a hurry to get them where you'd like them to be. Keep in mind, this is not about you, it's about them. Yes it's important to keep the big picture in focus, but remember, everyone does not go at the same pace. What you think might take a few days to grasp might take a few weeks, or even a month, for others to comprehend. Encourage them to keep going, cheer on their progress, and congratulate them with every step forward.

So, long story short, shut off the waterworks. Spare them the information overload. Take baby steps. Give them something they can accomplish right now, something they can do at their pace, not yours. The most important thing is to build their confidence, even if you have to do it gradually. And don't forget, be patient with your team if they don't catch on as quickly as you'd like, because at some point in your life, somebody had to be patient with you. If you can do this, you may become Wile E. Coyote with a Road Runner on your hands:

That's all for now, gotta run. Until we meet again, remember folks:

Keep it simple....See ya!

Number 41: Still Terrific After All These Years

"Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men..." - Colossians 3:23 AMP

I saw an interview with Tom Seaver (aka Tom Terrific), the Hall of Fame pitcher whose greatest claim to fame is that he helped turn around the fortunes of the New York Mets, a team in search of a new identity when he arrived in 1967. It was the early 1980s, Tom had just returned to the Mets in a trade, and he was contemplating what he would do when his playing career would be over. His biggest concern was knowing that one day soon he could walk off the mound for the last time without knowing what he would do in the next phase of his life. He wanted to find an activity that gave him as much joy as his pitching did, but he was not sure he could devote himself to another career with as much passion as he'd given to baseball.  Before he retired from the game in 1987, he was fortunate to find a new career which helped him ease his transition to life away from the playing field. He went into broadcasting, which kept him to close to the sport he loved. Tom stayed in broadcasting for 20 years before walking away from baseball for good in 2006. After 40 years in baseball, Tom found a new profession which allowed him to fully devote himself with as much passion and intensity as he'd given the pitching mound and the broadcast booth: he bought some property in Napa Valley, California's wine country, and started his own vineyard.  (http://www.seavervineyards.com/)

Looking at the photos on the website, I feel just as inspired by Tom's work ethic as I had been as a child watching him pitch. There's a reason why Number 41 is still revered by Mets fans as The Franchise. He transformed the team's image, letting everyone know that the losing attitude which had been established within the clubhouse before he put on a Mets uniform, as well as a lack of commitment to excellence would not be tolerated as long as he was around: not on his watch (Tom is a US Marine). Mets manager Gil Hodges, told him, "To err is human, but to make a mental mistake is unprofessional." Tom took that lesson to heart and still carries it with him today. His work ethic in his vineyard, as it was on the mound and in the broadcast booth, is as always persistent, passionate, and unrelenting. It is that passion which has always driven him to excel, whether stepping on the pitcher's mound, stepping into the broadcast booth, or walking the grounds of his three-acre vineyard on Diamond Mountain. His approach may not be everyone's cup of tea (or glass of wine), but it's hard to argue with the results. To Tom, the skill of his art form, whether pitching, broadcasting, or making wine, is paramount, and attention to detail is what matters most.  Tom's dedication to his craft is what has always set him apart.

Like Tom, you have within you the capacity to be terrific at whatever you choose to do with your life. You may not be good with a baseball, or a microphone, or a bottle of wine, but there is something unique about you that sets you apart from your peers.  It is your passion for all things that you enjoy in life and attention to detail that will get you noticed. The saying is true, when you set yourself on fire, people will come from miles around to watch you burn. Your passion attracts attention, and your enthusiasm is what gets people to say, "...there's something different about you..."  Your own dedication to excellence is what makes the biggest impression on others. Such dedication can only come from the heart; it cannot be faked, and it cannot be forced. It comes from deep within your genuine self. When you reach out with your heart, people respond to you from their own.

Just as you are inspired by others, you can be inspiring to others. Don't waste time comparing yourself to someone else, you're not meant to be them, you're meant to be you. Only you. Appreciate the talents of others, but learn to acknowledge your own, and be willing to share them. Maybe you can't throw a blazing fastball, turn a phrase in front of a television audience, or create a cabernet sauvignon, but you can make a difference in this world, just by being you. Find your passion, make it happen, and let everyone around you see the terrific one in their midst: YOU.

That's all for now, gotta run. Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!

Bring Your Shining Star With You

"I didn't come to New York to be a star. I brought my star with me." - Reggie Jackson

The above quote comes from Reginald Martinez "Reggie" Jackson, Baseball Hall of Fame Class of 1993, known to many fans as Mr. October for his baseball heroics. He played for five World Series championship teams during his career, three with the Oakland Athletics and two more with the New York Yankees during the 1970's. His brash personality often rubbed people the wrong way: fans, opponents, teammates, even the owners that paid for his services, but you could not argue with the results. As Reggie often liked to say, "It ain't braggin' if you can back it up," and back it up he did, more often than not during a successful 21 year ride through major league baseball.

He was once asked what he meant when he said he brought his star to New York. He explained that he had already established his reputation as a star athlete and a champion by the time he arrived in New York, and he believed he could help the Yankees achieve their goal of winning the World Series, something they hadn't done at that time since 1962. As it turned out he was right: his performance in Game 6 of the 1977 World Series was something to behold. He became only the second man in history to hit three home runs in a single Series game other than Babe Ruth, and he did in his own unique way: three home runs against three different pitchers on three consecutive swings of his bat, all on the first pitch he saw. It hadn't been done that way before, and though the feat has been repeated in recent years, no one else has done it the way Reggie did. Like him or not, he is respected by all as being truly one of a kind.

The same can be said for each one of us...yes, I mean you, too. You don't have to be a superstar at anything to be unique. Your set of gifts and talents is so unique that nobody can accomplish the things you can do, and even if they tried, they couldn't do it quite the way you can do it.  Your personality, your attitude, your view of life, your disposition, even your temperament is suited to certain aspects of life in a way that nobody can match. Everybody is born an original, with something to bring to the table. We devalue ourselves when we spend too much time looking outward rather than inward. We lack the confidence that we are talented, we are valuable. I believe this is why so many of us resent people who are bold and confident enough to let people see their talent without worry about how others may respond, whether to praise or criticize. We wish at times (often in secret) that we had the confidence to let people see us as we are without being overly worried about what they think. Truth is, we all have the confidence, we just don't believe that we do. That doesn't mean we have to be loud or outspoken about who we are or what we can do, it just means we are willing to stand on our own two feet and let people say whatever they like, because...sticks and stones may break some bones but names DON'T HAVE TO hurt me:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Wherever you go and whatever you do, step up to the plate with confidence. Stop comparing yourself to others; you're better than you think you are. And stop looking for someone else to play the starring role in the game that is your life. Bring your own star with you, and to paraphrase Earth, Wind, and Fire, be a:

"...shining star [for all to] see...what your life can truly be..."

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....  See ya!


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Cheer Your People On

If you've raised children you may remember the days when your baby grew into a toddler and failed at its first few attempts to walk. Did you scold or punish your child for failing? Of course not! You cheered them on because you remembered that you had to learn to walk too. You congratulated and encouraged them to try again. Then they kept trying, grew more confident, and one day they got it right. It was part of the learning process, so you understood it perfectly. No problem.

That being said, why do we beat ourselves up for failing the first few times at trying something new? Most likely, we didn't "get the hang of" something new as soon as we thought we should. We fool ourselves into thinking, "other people got it quicker than I did, maybe something's wrong with me because I didn't catch on as fast as they did..." No, nothing's wrong with you; it's a normal part of the learning process, just like when you learned to walk as a child. To think otherwise is unrealistic and foolish. We compare ourselves to other people who aren't our standard, people who are different than we are. What we need to understand is that everybody operates at a different speed, a different pace. No two people are alike.  Life is a marathon, not a sprint; we all run a different race. Believing you "should" learn to do something the same way someone else did is like saying, since all the runners began the race at the same time, they should run the race the same way everybody else does, and cross the finish line at the same time, too.  Don't kid yourself, we both know that is not gonna happen.

It is not strange to feel vulnerable, awkward, and a bit exposed from time to time. It can seem embarrassing and somewhat intimidating not to be in control of a situation. Let me give you an example. Several years ago, I coached a youth baseball team. On the morning of our first game I asked if anybody was excited. They all shouted, "YEAH!!!" of the top of their lungs. Then I asked, "Is anybody nervous..?" I got silence, and some awkward shuffling of feet. One of the coaches piped in, "It's okay, being nervous just means you want to play well," which helped to relax the boys up a bit, so I chimed in, "What you're feeling is called 'first inning jitters. Now I've got some good news, and I've got some GREAT news. Anybody want to hear it?"  They all nodded their heads, so I continued:

"The good news is, first inning jitters are perfectly normal. There's nothing wrong, just like Coach said, it just means you want to do well when you go on the field. But here's the great news...when you get on the field and start playing...IT GOES AWAY..." The look of relief on their faces spoke volumes; they got excited all over again. After running onto the field and playing an inning or two, and I heard one of the kids say, "My first inning jitters are GONE..!!" He was excited, and so was the rest of the team. They played well, and the won the game with relative ease. All it took was a well placed word of encouragement, and the kids took it from there.

Cheer your people on. Encourage them when they stumble, help them up when they fall. That's the time they feel most vulnerable and unsure of themselves, and need it most. Let your people know you believe in them, that you support them no matter what happens. Before you know it they'll be able to stand, to walk, to run, and take flight. You can never tell the power of a kind word spoken at the right time.

Who knows..? You could become the wind beneath their wings.

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple...  See ya!

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