The Most Important Lesson I Learned In College

I remember an important lesson I learned in college, and it had nothing to do with the courses I took. Not directly, anyway. Let me explain.

At the beginning of each semester as I stepped into the classroom, each instructor made it clear to me that their class was the most important course I'd ever take in college, so I should give the most attention to the material they were covering. It didn't matter if their class had anything to do with my major (most of them didn't, by the way), I had to focus on their class more than anybody else's, because no other class mattered but theirs. At least, that's how it seemed.  So I did as I was told. I took each instructors' advice to heart and tried to focus exclusively on their material. It didn't matter what course I was taking, I tried my best to do what they said I should do, devote myself fully to their curriculum as if my life depended on it. After all, they were the experts, they knew what they were talking about, and had my best interests at heart...right?

Well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that such a strategy is as unrealistic as it is unattainable. I couldn't do that with four to six classes on my plate every few months; it took a toll on me. I was stressed out, overwhelmed, frustrated and lacked focus. I felt lost, had no sense of direction, and was miserable 24-7. I was so turned around I didn't know which way was up. I had some serious soul-searching to do. I realized I was asking a question I had no business asking, so I shifted my thinking from, What do these people want from me? to Who am I doing this for? My college experience wasn't for their benefit, it was for mine. They were there when I got there, and they'd still be there when I left. Nothing I did or didn't do would make a difference in their lives; I had to do what was best for me. Since it would be my name on the certificate when I walked across the stage at graduation (and not theirs) I had to make this situation work best for me. So I made some adjustments. Not to be selfish, but I started looking out for Number One. I couldn't help anybody else if I couldn't help myself, so I had to keep my own best interests in mind, knowing that everybody wouldn't agree with me, but that was okay. We could agree to disagree or part ways. Either way it was all good.

Now what does that lesson have to do with the days that followed, and how does it equate to business and personal relationships?  It's really two sides of the coin:

On one side I discovered that as in college, I've met people from many different backgrounds. I've had a chance to see things from their perspective on a variety of issues. On some things we think alike, on others we don't. But that's okay, not everybody likes their pizza baked the same way, and some people don't like pizza at all. It's all good. Long story short, I got to find out what is important to them. In some cases, they tried to get me to see things their way, because in their opinion the issues they felt strongly about were the most important issues in the world. And you know what? They're right. Those issues they feel strongly about are the most important issues in the world...for them..but not for me.

Long story short, here's the most important lesson I learned in college, which I carry with me to this day:

Never let people who don't share a like mind with you, decide for you what is important to you. That's not their call to make, it's yours.

On the flip side I realized everybody has their own best interests in mind. They know better than you or I do, what they want to accomplish. We should never impose our will to get them to achieve goals that interest us. We get to choose how we live our lives, not theirs. Be willing to advise them if they ask, but don't expect others to be a carbon copy of you, that is unrealistic. Be sensitive to their objectives. If you share similar views, great. If you don't, still great. In any case, let them know that you respect their decisions and are willing to work with them so they can enjoy the outcome that works best for them. So long as they're not in a situation where their life, their health, or their safety are at risk, respect their viewpoint, their intelligence, and their decision.

If you can do that, you will find in the long run that the more you respect the decisions of others, whether you agree or not, the more others will respect you when you make your own choices.

Prioritize...and keep your eyes....on your prize... 'nuf said.

That's all for now, gotta run.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!


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