Learn What You DON'T Want

Here's something I believe many people can relate to...

This incident happened on my job several years ago. Thanksgiving weekend was coming up, and because there were few people working in our department at that time we had a set rotation where each year only one person could take the day after Thanksgiving off to enjoy a four day weekend. This particular year it was my turn to have that day. But a few days before the holiday I was talking with a coworker of mine about what I'd be doing on my off day. It had already been approved, and everything went off without a hitch...or so I thought.

My coworker told me she'd heard that someone else on the team was going on paternity leave, and had been given that entire week off. This was news to me, the kind of news I didn't like, so I went to see the department manager who granted me the approval, to see what was going on. I asked if it was true that someone else in the department had been granted paternity leave. She verified that it was true, which meant I would not be able to take the day off as had been previously scheduled. Since this decision affected me, I asked why I was not notified of the change in plans.  The manager's response was sheepish at best (and I'm being kind; I could easily say something less complimentary): "I apologize for that.."

I'm sure you can understand my response to all this was not, "Oh, that's all right..." It was NOT all right. I stormed out of her office. I was livid about having that day off taken away from me. What if I had made plans to go out of town for the weekend? What if I hadn't had that conversation by chance with another co-worker? Would I have been penalized for taking time off without knowing I was expected to come to work that day? And why do I need to get permission from a stranger to spend time with my children? What kind of crap is that...?

As frustrated as I was, as angry as I felt, what bothered me most of all was the sense that it couldn't be helped. I felt powerless to do anything about it, and hated feeling that way. Not to be overly dramatic here, but I felt like I was being held hostage financially and I had no way to pay the ransom to win my freedom. I couldn't escape, so the best I could do was hold on, hang in there, keep a stiff upper lip and hope my kids wouldn't be too disappointed in me for not spending time with them like I'd promised (yet again), because life had dealt me a bad hand and I had to "just deal with" the cards I'd been given.

Well, that's how I used to feel...and I'll bet some of you have felt the same way too. But I found out that the game has rules, and I was losing the game because I didn't know the rules. I also found out I could learn the rules, apply them to my own life and achieve success, just like others before me had done.  I could use the rules to turn the results in my favor.

So now, instead of feeling helpless I feel hopeful. I don't have all the results I want just yet, but now that I've gotten started, I can get help from people along the way who know the rules better than I do. Now I can finally give myself a chance to do those things I've always wanted to do, with the people who matter to me the most: my son, my daughter, and anyone else who I hold close to my heart.

If I could say anything to you right now it would be this:

Learn what you DON'T want in life, and you'll take a giant leap toward finding out what you do.

That's all y'all, gotta run....until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!


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