"For there is no good (healthy) tree that bears decayed (worthless, stale) fruit, nor on the other hand does a decayed (worthless, sickly) tree bear good fruit...The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright (honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks." - Luke 6:43,45 AMP
Years ago when I got involved with youth sports, I had to be trained as a baseball coach. The league I signed up for required all volunteers to complete a training course to qualify for the position.
The work wasn't difficult: attend training sessions, watch videos, pass a series of exams to earn my certification. Very simple.
As long as I committed myself to the process and followed directions earning the right to coach would not be a problem...which I did.
I enjoyed the privilege of coaching for several years. It allowed me to share all the knowledge and wisdom I received from many great coaches I'd met. Having a chance to pass the baton was a pleasure for me.
I share this story not to brag, but to make a point. Just as I received counsel from people qualified to give it, just as children received counsel from me as I was qualified to share it...
You must also receive coaching and instruction from people who are competent and qualified to offer knowledge to help you succeed in whatever you do.
Not everyone who offers you advice is qualified to do so. Some people are mere "armchair quarterbacks," content to spout their opinions left and right without knowledge or experience to back up a word they say.
It can be a friend, family or foe. The acquaintance can be professional or personal, it doesn't matter. What matters most is this:
If they haven't done what they're telling you to do they have no authority to decide what you can do with your life.
Several sayings I heard in my youth come to mind...
Practice what you preach...
Talk is cheap...
The proof of the pudding is in the eating...
All are old sayings, but they're still as valid now as they were back in the day.
You'll always find someone who can't help trying to involve themselves in your life, doing their best to butt their two cents' worth(less) of advice into your situation.
I have a couple of suggestions about how to handle such moments:
First, realize the most valuable advice is asked for, not freely given. If it's uninvited it's unwelcome. Period.
People offering wise counsel don't dish it out to just anyone. They accumulate that knowledge through hard work and share with people who understand its value. The ones who ask will use and appreciate it.
People who freely offer advice don't care about your situation. They want to hear themselves talk, make themselves look good. They are more concerned with their ego than with your well being.
And second, when people say, "You know what you should do..?" or "You should...", stop them in their tracks with this little gem. Five simple words...
Is that what you did..?
You will get one of two responses:
They fall back on their heels, caught off guard by your question. Struggling to find something to say, they try to change the subject, because you exposed their ignorance and they feel uncomfortable.
or...
They tell you about some experience they had where things didn't work out, which has nothing to do with you.
In either case, their response tells you all you need to know about their advice...It's worthless.
They have no credibility to guide you, no expertise to help you reach your goals. Most of all, they have no authority which obligates you to follow their lead.
Everyone's time has value, yours included. Nobody has the right to control your time except you. They must earn the right to share your time; it cannot be taken captive against your will.
Make people qualify for your time...here's how:
Their lives must bear fruit which proves they are worthy of providing the counsel you need.
They must have required expertise which qualifies them to lead and guide you along your chosen path.
There must be "proof in the pudding," i.e. evidence of their ability to provide counsel to that helps navigate your own path to success.
In plain English, make sure they know what they're talking about, and they're able to back it up! Talk is cheap, remember...?
People qualify you for their time, they should also qualify for yours. Your 24 hours is just as important as someone else's. Don't give it away to anyone who is not worthy of it.
Your life shouldn't go to waste...and neither should your time. See to it that everyone you meet feels the same way, too.
That's all for now, gotta run.
Until next time, remember:
Keep it simple... See ya!
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