Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The Balancing Act of Building Relationships

      

BALANCE: the state of having your weight spread equally so that you do not fall; the ability to move or to remain in a position without losing control or falling; a state in which different things occur in equal or proper amounts or have an equal or proper amount of importance

Looking at a chair and a tripod, the first thing you may notice is what's different about them: the chair has four legs, while the tripod has only three.

If you look more closely, however, you will also see they have something in common.  Both are designed with the same purpose: to achieve proper balance for whatever (or whoever) rests upon them. 

Take away one leg from either of them and what happens? The whole thing comes crashing down.


Like chairs and tripods, relationship building is also based on balance. If too much emphasis is placed on one leg to the neglect of the rest the whole structure can collapse.


To achieve this balance in relationships, however, one foundation of success cannot be compromised. Many people do so without realizing it. When this happens failure is inevitable, and people wonder what went wrong. 


It's not hard to figure out when you know the key to building relationships that help the foundation stand firm. And that key is the ability to honor someones:

FREE WILL: the ability to choose how to act; voluntary choice or decision


Simply put, if you violate someone's free will you will not be successful in building any kind of relationship with them. They will avoid you like the plague.  Case in point:


1.  Do you Interrupt...or INTRODUCE? 


According to Merriam-Webster (m-w.com), interrupt is defined as "stop or hinder by breaking in.." If you saw the Bill Murray film Groundhog Day you watched an example of interruption at its best.  

Phil Connors, Bill's character is stalked by insurance salesman Ned Ryerson, an old high school classmate Phil doesn't remember, and wishes he'd never met:





Football quarterbacks don't get assaulted like this. At least they have offensive linemen to protect them... somewhat.

You can see this approach doesn't work, so what's a better alternative?  Say we ease up on the throttle a little bit? Like this...


Introduce yourself.  (I told you it was easy)


Merriam-Webster defines introduce (in this context) as "cause to be acquainted," no more and no less:


"Hello, my name is.." How hard is that?

Nowadays blank name tags allow people to introduce themselves in silence. Tags can be attached to your clothing so your name can be seen without having to speak to anyone. 


"Hello, my name is..." and you can write your name in the blank space so people can see your name before you say a word. It's a very simple way to break the ice.  


Perfect strangers can welcome themselves into your life on their terms, not yours. And you can choose to let them into your circle on your terms as well.


People like to choose the company they keep; they don't want others making the choice for them.

People look at your tag and decide if they want to know you. You look at their tag and decide if you want to know them. Very simple.


There is mutual interest in meeting each another and nobody approaches anyone uninvited or unwelcome. No one invades anyone else's space. No worries.

That's the first leg that helps to build a relationship. Next time we'll examine another leg that's equally important in keeping things properly balanced, both personally or professionally.

That's all for now, gotta run. Until next time, remember:

Keep it simple... See ya!

P.S. If you believe in the importance of building relationships, then you also know about the power of making connections. Watch this video and see if you can relate:



If this makes sense to you, then you're someone I want to connect with. You can reach me on Facebook, Twitter (@63MrBryantET) or Gmail (mr.bryantet63@gmail.com)

Don't forget... 

Keep it simple.... See ya!







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