Don't Make Them Sorry They Met You

Back in the 1980's Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy starred in 48 Hours, a movie where a cop teamed up with a convict to catch a murderer. In an early scene shortly after their characters met, Nolte, the cop laid down the law on Murphy by telling him their partnership was hanging by a thread ("We're not partners, we're not brothers, we're not friends," the con was told right off the bat), and that if the guy they were after got away:  "...you'll be sorry you ever met me..."

The convict's reply was classic:   "I'm already sorry..."

The line got a lot of laughs in the theater because it was funny. But it does bring up a valid point. How many of us have run across people in our lives that we wished we'd never met? Better yet, how many of us have been the very people that others wished they never met? It's a tough pill to swallow, let me assure you. It's never easy to admit our own flaws, to "tell on ourselves," so to speak. But if we give ourselves an honest self-evaluation we can admit to being less than perfect more often than not.

It is said that there are two types of people who enter a room, one person walks in and says, "Here I am!" while the other person walks in the room and says, "There you are!" The one who has a knack for making others feel at ease around them is always welcome at gatherings, it seems, while the one who seeks to draw attention to themselves appears to set people in their midst on edge.  I used to wonder how this could be so, but after reflecting on it a bit I understand why it is true.  It has been said that the sweetest sound anyone can ever hear is the sound of their own name on someone else's lips. Everyone seeks recognition in some form. It is also said that the three needs greater than money in the lives of many are Recognition, Appreciation, and Praise. Once these three needs are met, money takes on more value in people's lives. I guess money could be compared to the icing and the other three needs to a cake, the icing may be sweet at first, but becomes less satisfying after a while without the rest of the cake's ingredients.

When you recognize others you let them know they have value in your eyes, and they eagerly face you with that "tell me more" look in their eyes, because after all, you're talking to them about their favorite subject: themselves, and they're so glad you happen to agree. How could they not in turn appreciate you when you've gone out of your way to appreciate them first? It's a no-brainer. And when it's time for you to part company, you've done so in such a way that you'll be welcome once more the next time they see you. As the saying goes, "leave them wanting more..."

So long story short, make them glad they met you, not sad. Put your best foot forward. Be enthusiastic in your greeting, pay attention to them first, and allow them to direct their attention to you. Be interested in them and let them become interested in you.  And when you do, they'll never be sorry they met you...they may wish they'd met you sooner.

That's all for now.  Until we meet again, remember...

Keep it simple....  See ya!


How to Win Friends & Influence People