Why I HATE (!!!!) Car Shopping

"Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still." - Dale Carnegie

I HATE CAR SHOPPING...!!! (It's one of the few things I hate more than getting a root canal, but I digress...need to stay on point  here)  I'm talking about buying a used car. Yes, I realize they're called "pre-owned" nowadays, but to me they're still USED. (Someone did USE them after all, didn't they...? DUH..!!) Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with buying a car that has been around the block a few times. I am grateful to the previous owner who drove the car long enough to break it in. And it never hurts to save a few bucks if you can get a chance to do so. Why pay more money when you really don't have to, right...? (Look here: http://yhoo.it/1e3dVzA) No, it's not the previous owners I take issue with, or the car itself. It's the typical car buying process, or more specifically, having to deal with the typical used car salesperson. They're the reason I dread even thinking about stepping on the lot. Yeah, yeah, I know they're just "doing their job," I get it. But the idea of being viewed in a manner not unlike fresh roadkill is one I don't readily cherish. Having salespeople nearby ready to pounce on me like ravenous vultures descending on a fresh carcass gives me the creeps. It starts so innocently, though I know where they'd like to steer the conversation (no pun intended):

How ya doin' today? 
Nice weather we're having, isn't it? 
Great day for a drive, don't you think so...?

(Some of these conversation starters have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but that's just my opinion)

I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't want to start a conversation before I'm ready to talk to anyone ("I'm just looking" means just that; I'm looking and I'm not ready to talk to anyone yet...when I'm ready to speak with you I'll let you know. So leave me alone already until I have something to say...some folks just don't want to read the memo, y'know?) Did you ever speak with someone or shake their hand, and feel like you need to take a shower afterwards? That's how I feel after speaking with salespeople at times...not all of them mind you, just certain ones who have a way of talking you into a corner from which there seems to be no escape.  I don't like the idea of being manipulated into doing something I really don't want to do, whether it's buying a car, a house, or any item I don't care about in the least. They have more interest in their bottom line than in me. or so it would seem.

Forgive me if you happen to be a salesperson reading this post, I don't mean to bash salespeople as a whole. It isn't fair to lump all of them with such stereotypes as I've described; I'm speak only from my own personal experience. In any field you will find excellent professionals and those that leave much to be desired. I guess I've always been the type of person who doesn't like to be talked into doing something that does not interest me, when doing so makes me feel as if someone else has made the decision for me, a decision I didn't want to make (or never would have made) in the first place. I just pointed out car shopping as an example, but I'm sure you can come up with some examples from your own life where you felt like people have tried to talk you into making choices you wanted to avoid like the plague. It's never any fun to have choices thrust on you by others, when you know like you know your own name they are lying to you when they say they have your best interests at heart. They don't; it's their own interests they care about the most, and they hope you won't catch on until it's too late to say or do anything about it.

Maybe I'm going over the top here, but to me having someone lead me down a road I don't want to travel makes me feel like I'm being violated somehow. What makes it worse is having someone try to convince me that what I want is the same thing they want (when I know it isn't), as if they know me better than I know myself. That's a blatant insult to my intelligence. At least that's how I feel, maybe you do too. It is said that there are two types of people in this world: those who make people glad with their presence, and those who make people glad with their absence. I would much rather be the former, and I believe you would, too.

In view of this, may I make a humble suggestion?   If you really want people to be interested in what you have to offer (yes, even if you're trying to sell a car), do what I taught my children and their friends to do:

Remember that God gave you TWO ears and only ONE mouth, and use them in the proportion to which they were given to you. Show twice as much interest in what the other person wants, and when you do speak, speak twice as often about what the other person wants as you speak about what you want. You will find that you are a much more engaging person, and more people will want to speak with you, because the sweetest sound anyone can hear is the sound of their own name, with the sound of topics that are of interest to them coming in a very close second. Not only will they speak with you, they'll talk with you, they'll confide in you, they'll seek counsel from you, and believe it or not, when you do speak...they'll LISTEN to you.  Shocking, huh?

How much better would you feel if people came to you seeking your input because they knew you had some insights that they could use, some knowledge they would appreciate? Doesn't that sound better than the alternative, having to chase someone down (known as stalking in some parts, which is illegal by the way) in a desperate attempt to get them to listen to what you had to say? Understand this, and never forget it:

The one being pursued is the one with the power.

This holds true in any situation,, whether it's a personal relationship or a professional one. If you don't believe me, then tell me why it seems to be more exhausting to be the pursuer rather than the pursued? Because the pursued doesn't have to prove their value; it has already been established, that's why they're being pursued. The burden of proof is always on the side of the pursuer to show the one being pursued that they are worth paying attention to. What you want is to be the one in the position of being pursued, the one who is seen by others as having value worthy not only of attention, but appreciation as well.

And how do you accomplish this...?  There's a key component that puts you in position to be chased by people who want what you have to offer. It's the one thing that makes you stand out in a crowd, and it leads people to you like moths to a flame. It is also something which I'll share with you in an upcoming post. I think I've given quite a mouthful to chew on for now.

Okay, that's all for now....

Tune in next time,
Same Bat Time,
Same Bat Channel...

Y'all come back now, y'hear..?

And remember folks:

Keep it simple... See ya!


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