Take The Lead, Be Their Guide

I remember reading a story not long ago about a young mother who asked her children to take one of the calves into the barn. She was sure they could handle the task themselves, but she watched from the kitchen window to see how well they would do.  They did everything they could think of to get the calf to move: they put a rope around its neck, they pulled from the front, they pushed from the back, they took turns at the front and back, pushing and pulling, but nothing worked. They just couldn't get the calf to budge.

When Mom saw that her tired, frustrated kids were about to give up, she decided to help out. On her way outside she passed by the butter churn and dipped her fingers into the butter she had just churned that morning. Walking in front of the calf, she held her buttered fingers under its nose. The calf liked the scent and the sweet taste of the butter, so it stuck out its tongue and started licking her fingers. The mother walked slowly backward and the calf followed, still licking the butter from her fingers. Mom started backing up in the direction of the barn, but the calf didn't care. The only thing on its mind was the taste and the smell of the butter. So the mom kept going and the calf kept following, licking her fingers the whole time, until finally it had been led into the barn...and all because it had a taste for the sweet, creamy butter on Mom's fingers.

Simple story, but it makes a point: nobody will go where you want them to go, but if you willing and able to show them how to get where they want to go they will follow you anywhere. Now it might not take putting butter on your fingers to get someone to follow you, but maybe you can find something else that interests them, that attracts their attention, something in their life that they desperately want to change, and indicate to them that you are willing to help them make that change. Even if you don't know all the ins and outs about what they need to do, you can do one of two things:

You can point them to someone that does know how to take them where they want to go, or

You can learn the way and lead them yourself

Whichever you choose, the main point is that you take an active interest in what they want to accomplish. You take on their success as your own, and you make them a high priority. John C. Maxwell says, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." That is true, without question. Once you have established in people's hearts and minds that you do care about them, they do take a keen interest in what you know, or what you are willing to find out that can benefit their lives. Don't worry about being the expert that "knows all, tells all." The most road weary traveler stopping at a convenience store in need of directions is forever grateful that there is a road map for sale, even if the owner of the store doesn't know everything on the map, or even how to read the map themselves.  If you care enough to help them, they will be interested in whatever you have to say.

Again, don't try to be a know it all, just "knowing it some" can be effective. If you know one key piece of information that they don't already know which can help them get where they want to go, you are considered a valuable resource to them, one they don't want to lose. And the more you learn, the more you can help them.

So if you want to take the lead and be their guide:

Learn the way, then lead the way, and continue to learn the way as you go...that's all, y'all.

Gotta run. Talk with you again soon.  Until we meet again, remember:

Keep it simple....See ya!